The warmth of you
by Nasse
Summary: "Naruto, I know I cannot ask this of you, but I have no choice... This is Tsu, he is my son. He was a mistake from the beginning, I was left to take care of him but I can't do that. I am leaving him with you... please take care of him" ShonenAi/Yaoi
1. my child

**Hi there everyone! hm... I'm here with another Naruto FF! OMG what a surprise... XD no really, I didn't think I was gonna write another one of these but... hm... I was bored in school and I have had this idea for quite some time. I know there is not much action in the beginning but I have actually so much thoughts about it so I think you'll be satisfied! moahahha... or I hope you will be XD haha**

**The main character is Naruto, at least in this chapter, I haven't decided on the others. And I wouldn't really call this a SasuNaru because there is major complications ;) and if you read this you'll soon find out what i mean with that! hoho **

**I hope you'll enjoy this, all you Naruto lovers out there! **

**Disclaimer: I am so sad to tell you this but... I DON'T OWN Naruto ,____, I'd be the happiest person alive it I did but I don't... so... please don't judge XD **

**Warning!: This is going to progress into full-blown YAOI! which basically means boyxboy love 8D so for you who don't like it... don't read! otherwise, sit back and enjoy ;)**

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"Tsuki..!" He called through the small apartment, looking under the couch, turning the pillows in the sofa, looking behind the TV and the shower drapery. "damn… where has he gone now..?"

It had been almost two years since that morning, one cold spring morning, when Naruto had woken up much earlier than usual, somehow even managing to get up and make tea before realizing it was only half passed five in the morning. He had, tired with his own foolishness, gotten up to see if the milk-man had already delivered the milk, but what he had found on his doorstep was something so much more troublesome then the milk-bill.

It was a strange thing, the feeling he felt while looking upon that little bundle or light blue fabric, knowing, even before even hearing the sounds it was making, that it was alive. Though you might think Uzumaki Naruto is a coward at any time, at this particular moment he did not even take half a step back, he didn't have the slightest time to be scared… because as soon as he looked closer, the little warm bundle made the sweetest gurgling noise.

It was a baby boy…

"Tsuki… please come here…" he sighed as he sat down on the sofa, breathing out into a large sigh. He couldn't believe this kid. How could he have this much stamina? The two of them weren't even related and still, he behaved just like Naruto would have done in his age. No wonder everyone fell for his lie about Tsuki being his own son, no one even seemed to doubt it for a second really…

The feeling of slight guilt filled his heart whenever he thought about it though. He had done the best he could to raise Tsuki for two whole years now and even though everyone believed it, the lie, he could not help but think about the mother of this child. Did she know..? That he child was not with its father? That he even was alive?

Naruto sighed once more and leaned his face into the palm of his hand, rubbing his temple a little while thinking.

"That jerk…"

He had no idea how many times he had said that out loud and thought those words for these last years. Uchiha Sasuke, the most popular subject of the woman and all girls in the city Konoha, one of the best at what he did… and of course screwing woman was one of his specialties. In that light blue bundle, two years ago, there had been a note. Not a long letter, just a note… the only thing Tsuki's father had done for him, the last thing he would ever do for his son...

"Naruto, I know I cannot ask this of you, that is why I cannot see you face to face… This is Tsu, he is my son. He was a mistake from the beginning, I was left to take care of him but I can't do that. I am leaving him with you because I'm moving with my work. Please take care of him, you are the only one I can trust with this. Good bye. – Uchiha Sasuke"

How could you leave your own son? Calling him a mistake..? Naruto hated it, day by day fearing that Tsuki's mother would find out and come for her son, take him away. Naruto was not his legal guardian, they had no relation, there were no adoption papers and no file… The only thing he could do for the boy was name him Tsuki instead to maybe try to hide the fact better, the fact that he had a mother somewhere… and she might miss her child more than she had told the father… That was why Naruto lied, why he had made everything up for two years. The story about his girlfriend, from a nearby city, who had given birth to their son and died shortly after, leaving him with the boy all by himself. Everyone had been quite shocked, both by the fact that he had a girlfriend, then that she had been pregnant with his child but mostly because of the fact that Naruto had once more lost the only family he had…

"Daddy..?" the boy suddenly asked from the level of his knee and Naruto looked back at him, relief rushing through his body. Once, Tsuki had actually managed to get the balcony door opened and almost fell out over the edge, after that, every time the boy hid, Naruto thought his heart would stop with fear.

"Stupid kid…" he smiled and lifted the little one into his lap, ruffling his black hair with his hand softly. "What have I said about scaring me like that? You know I don't like it…" The warmth of the boy was just the same as two years ago, his little hands gripping around his neck as Naruto hugged him tightly.

"I'm sowwy…" the little one almost whined, making the cutest face at him as the hug ended and Naruto could not stop himself from squeezing him hard again.

"You silly thing…" he whispered, standing up with the two year old child in his arms. "…if you promise me not to scare me like that again I'll make you some ramen?"

"I pwomise!!"

'_Really..?'_ he thought while laughing when the little one pulled his hair, trying to hug him again. _'…If you're his child, then how come I feel so close to you? You're so innocent and so pure, still you like ramen just as much as me… you don't act at all like that blown up, self absorbed idiot… jeez… how could anyone want to leave you..?'_ The little one giggled as Naruto put him down on the counter, his little feet swinging from the height, his deep blue eyes smiling brightly. _'Sasuke… how could you not love him..?'_

"ne, ne daddy..?" the little one asked as Naruto popped the noodles into the microwave with a smile.

"Mm?"

"Why do I have black hair?"

"Because…" Naruto hated lying to his friends but it was so much worse when it was Tsuki he was talking to. If he kept lying now, would he ever be able to tell the truth? Wouldn't Tsuki hate him if he did? And what if his real mother came for him..? He hated this, knowing that there was nothing he could do but keep lying, to everyone. "…your mother had black hair…"

"my mom..?"

Those blue eyes were so innocent it hurt to look at them. He was so sweet, so pure hearted and still…

"Yeah, your mother…"

"who is she?"

The pling of the microwave saved him this time, those dark blue eyes sparkling from the promise of eating ramen again. Naruto smiled and shake his head gently, pouring the hot food into a bowl and cooled it down with blowing on it, Tsuki's greedy eyes following his every move hungrily.

"Don't worry" Naruto laughed and lifted the boy from the counter, carrying him over to the table and placing him in his chair, sitting down next to him, still cooling the noodles. "I won't eat them, I promise…"

The boy was like a wolf when eating, making Naruto smile every single time. He really couldn't calm down, this kid. Sometimes Naruto even wondered how he had turned out this way, when having the top grade, rapist idiot for father. Tsuki's mother must have been so happy and sweet if their son turned out like this… why didn't she want to take care of him? Was she to young? Or maybe she was already married…? The thoughts always bothered him when they entered his mind. He couldn't sleep or eat while thinking about them. He wanted to keep Tsuki, he was his son, but the fear of losing him grew each day… Even though it had already been two years and no one had come for him, maybe she had been looking all this time… desperately searching for her baby…

Naruto looked down at the little one, he could already use a fork that kid… The fear of even going outside with him had grown but Naruto also knew that even though they might run into that woman without knowing it, she would never know it was her child. He was already so big.

"Tsu, you wanna go the park later?"

"Really?!"

"Yeah"

"Yay!"

That small hand pressing his own, the feel of hearing that sweet laughter… there was nothing else that could make him happier at this moment other than being the father of this child, jumping next to him on the sidewalk. Anyone could see it, the bond between them, there was no denying it, they were father and son through and through. Naruto though, did not know how they looked together, that everyone thought that about them. He didn't dare ask anyone, fearing they would suspect him if he asked something like "how do we look together?" So he never know, that everyone adored them both.

"Naruto!" A woman his own age called from the park as they came closer and he smiled brightly at her, picking Tsuki up to carry him as he always did when meeting people. Because of his fear of course but also because the boy somehow seemed to be shy around girls.

"Ino-chan" he said and she gave him a dashing smile as always, making Tsuki hide his cute face in Naruto's sweater. The woman came over to them and smiled even sweeter when she saw Tsuki's reaction to her appearance.

"Aw Tsuki-kun" she said with her softest voice while looking down at the boy. "You know me, right? You don't have to be so shy.."

Naruto laughed and softly patted the boy on his head, tightening his arms around him softly to make him feel safe again. "Don't worry" he whispered into the sweet boy's ear. "I'm here, and it's only Ino, ne?"

"He is quite the chick magnet, that little one" another woman smiled, coming over to them with a little girl on her arm, their bright green eyes looking at them, smiling.

"Well of course, Sakura" Ino laughed and stepped a little to the side so that the pink haired woman and her daughter could join them. "He takes after his father after all."

"Hey!" Naruto blushed and almost looked as shy as his son did, making both woman giggle sweetly. But it was true. When Naruto was younger he had not been much of a chick magnet but as he grew older his looks had drastically improved in everyone's eyes, and even though Sasuke had always been more popular with his looks, Naruto had always treated everyone nicely; making him the "nice guy" everyone wanted to be friends with. Now, in his twenties, Naruto had girls confessing to him weekly, and even though he didn't tell anyone, there were quite a few guys confessing their love to him as well. Through that had of course decreased now that everyone knew he had had a girlfriend that had passed away…

"Tsuki-kun" Sakura smiled and looked down at the blushing boy still in Naruto's arms. "you just get more and more handsome each time I see you"

Naruto smiled, liking down at the boy who was still clinging to his sweater. It was true. Tsuki reassembled Sasuke quite a bit with his raven hair and almost black eyes, those curved lips and that face he put on sometimes when there was something bothering him. Really, even when blushing he looked like Sasuke, but Naruto was the only one knowing that side of the "number one gorgeous guy" Uchiha Sasuke.

"Oh, Neji-san!" Ino called for her friend and the man looked up from the swing he was about to occupy. "Get over here will ya! You haven't spoken to Naruto in forever!" The man laughed and came over to them, shaking hands with Naruto because they had indeed not spoken in ages. Before he could speak however, there was something pulling on the leg of his pants and he bent to pick the little thing up, everyone smiling. Neji had a son, Aiji, who was half a year younger than Tsuki. He was the cutest thing you'd ever see, though even more shy than the black haired one Naruto was holding, that meant Neji not often took his boy here, at least not when it was rush-hour.

"Neji, Aiji-chan" Naruto smiled and reached out to poke the little boy on the nose, earning a flushed smile and a cute giggle from the little one. Naruto felt a soft shift in his arms and looked down at Tsuki, who was now looking out over the little group of people, seeing he had turned his small body towards them too and was reaching out for the smaller boy with a smile.

"Hey there Tsuki…" Neji smiled and took a step closer, the boy in Naruto's arms looking up with puppy eyes which made Neji's smile widen even more. "Aiji said he wanted to see you today so we came here"

"Eh?" Tsuki smiled and looked at his younger friend, their eyes sparkling. "Really?"

Naruto felt his heart jump softly in his chest, warmth spreading through his body as he saw his little boy so happy. Sure, they were only kids and so easily pleased but this smile was so priceless Naruto could have died with no regrets after a moment like this. Even though he had sometimes wondered if it really had been the right thing to take Tsuki in without hesitation back then, at moments when he saw the pure happiness behind those sparkling eyes, Naruto never doubted it, the love he felt for this boy… was truly worth everything.

After putting the two boys down on the ground, Naruto and Neji watched them toddle away on their chubby legs, hand in hand, towards the sand box, quite near to where the grown-ups were standing. The woman smiled and excused themselves, Sakura had to go change a diaper and Ino was going home to make lunch, leaving Neji and Naruto under the big tree, looking at their children.

"How are you doing, Naruto?" the slightly older man asked after a moment of silence, looking a little at Naruto through the corner of his eye. "Everything all right?"

"Mhm" the blond one nodded, his sky blue eyes following every step Tsuki took, smiling brightly as the little one followed, picking flowers and handing them to his son. "Tsuki is doing fine, we have a nanny taking care of him when I'm at work and everything so…"

"And how about you?"

"Me?" Naruto asked back in surprise, finally looking up at his friend, not at all understanding why that would be an interesting subject.

"Yes you…" Neji smiled and nudged the blond man softly in the side. "I haven't seen you out here in a while, and I guess that is partly because I never get out nowadays but… I started wondering if you were really okay some days ago… Ino told me about what happened at the mall… when Tsuki got lost?"

"Oh… yeah, I'm fine" he laughed back, trying to hide his nervousness. Times like these were hard, especially to hide the fact that he had been scared to death when Tsuki ran away that time. Not cause he thought the boy could not take care of himself and charm his way through the mall, but because of Tsuki's real mother… Telling Neji that would blow his entire cover… But he knew that his reaction had been a bit over the top, going all berserk even though there were already so many people looking for the boy. Ino must have already told everyone about it, that babble-mouth.

"I understand if you're stressed..." the dark haired man smiled, almost surprising Naruto with his calmness in the matter. "...I don't know how it feels, because I've never had to take care of Aiji all by my self but, I admire you, you know..."

_'Shouldn't he be thinking what an idiot I am..?' _Naruto thought, looking back at the playing children, the corner of his mouth twitching into a sweet smile as little Aiji handed the fluffy bouquet of flowers to Tsuki. So innocent, so pure. _'I'll never leave you Tsuki, not in a lifetime..'_

"And why is that, Neji?" Naruto then asked and leaned back against the big tree, knowing that with Neji he could be more laid back, even close his eyes a little, since Neji's eyes seemed to see everything the boys ever did.

"Because..." The older man smiled as he still watched the children play. "Tsuki is such a sweet boy, and you have raised him all by your self... you've done such a good job with him, taught him everything, you really are something special Naruto..."

Naruto laughed at this but mostly to try to hide his blush. Neji was good with words, he already knew that. This man was of the same caliber as Sasuke, or maybe, Neji had been before marrying an older woman. Even though he and Anko got along well, most people suspected that the marriage was to cover the fact that Neji got her pregnant. So in fact, he was a lot like Sasuke... though Neji would never leave his child like the ignorant bastard had done. Neji was a good father, just like the kind of father Tsuki needed. Naruto was not easily fooled by charm like that though. He had been around Sasuke too long... always standing in the background, seeing how he hit on girls here, girls there. How he complimented them, how he gently touched parts of their exposed skin like their cheek or an arm. How he sent them that dashing smile... that was when Naruto had always looked away...

-

"_Ey, Naruto..." _

"_Yeah what, Sasuke?" _

"_Do you find it weird..."_

"_Huh? What is this about all of a sudden?"_

"_Do you dislike it... when I leave with those girls?"_

"_Well, I can't say I like it, getting left alone every time you find someone you wanna shag..."_

"_Tch... and you're the one to talk?" _

"_What do you mean with that? How many times have you been left by me at the bar? And when have you ever gotten asked by me if you have a condom I can use... jeez... Yeah, I dislike it... someday you really will end up knocking a girl up..."_

"_And then you'll have a little baby to take care of, wouldn't that be sweet Naruto..." _

"_Quit goofing around about it Sasuke..."_

"_Naruto..." _

"_Oh come on, don't 'Naruto' me like that Sasuke... you're embarrassing your self..."_

"_If you really don't like it then I...." _

"_You what? You'll stop? Come on, you're the most perverted and horny guy I know, don't try to fool me into thinking you'll be able to make it without sex..." _

"_That's not fair and you know it..!"_

"_Don't you get it Sasuke..?"_

"_Get what..?"_

"_I get happy every time you ask me to come with you... don't expect me to be overjoyed when you end up just flirting your way through the evening, sometimes, can't we go out just the two of us? Does an evening out have to involve you sleeping with a random person you don't know? Are you really that desperate..?"_

"_Tch... For someone who haven't even had sex you sure seem to know a lot about it..." _

"_This is not about me being a virgin or not! It's not even about sex..! Why can't you just pay some attention to me once in a while, we're supposed to be friends, right? Then get your act together and drop the bullshit facade, if you ask me to come with you, you go with me! Not with Ayaka, not with Tenten... with me."_

"_Naru..."_

"_So seriously Sasuke, don't ask me to come with you again... seeing you with that woman today was worse enough, I'm not coming with you unless you go there to be with me..."_

-

"If you are trying to flatter me I should probably just tell you right away that I'm not gay..." Naruto laughed back at the comment, though he was sincerely hoping that Neji couldn't see when people were lying as well. Okay, he wasn't lying, because he wasn't exactly... gay but. Well, if you are attracted to a man maybe you are...

"I'm not" Neji chuckled and reached out, ruffling Naruto's blond locks with his warm hand. "I'm just saying that I could never do something like that, racing a child... on my own..."

"Of course you could" Naruto chuckled as well, correcting his hair a little, then letting the wind do the rest of the job. "you're the best father I know..."

"Me and Anko are getting a divorce..."

The silence fell between them, only the sound of the wind in the trees was heard, their eyes following the children, the only thing moving. Naruto was shocked and still not surprised at all. He watched the sweet boy playing with his son, watched him giggle and throw flowers all around. Was he going to lose his father too..? Would Neji really do something like that to his child..? Just like Sasuke had abandoned the little baby boy "Tsu"... Or would the boy loose his mother instead..?

"Are you alright with it..?" was the first thing Naruto asked after the chock had settled and the fact had sunk in. Neji nodded but did not answer with words, just watched the two playing boys. "What about Aiji..? What will happen to him?"

"He will live with both of us.." Neji smiled and tore his eyes away, now looking up into the sky. "It is not like we are fighting, me and Anko... It's just... we want to go separate ways in life and our marriage is hindering us from doing so." He then lowered his eyes and smiled, though not such a bright one this time. "...doesn't feel that awesome though... I mean, we've been together for a while now, even though we're not in love, you kind of get used to always having her there..."

"Don't worry Neji, you'll make it..."

"How do you know that..?"

"Oh come on" Naruto chuckled sweetly, looking at Neji with his sky blue eyes. "You're Hyuga Neji, aren't you? You're the only guy taking your kid to the park, except me. You are an amazing father and even though you might live alone from now on, believe me, you'll make this... and besides, you have me right?"

"Naruto..."

"Oh don't misunderstand me in what I say!" the blond smiled and nudged his friend in the side just like Neji had done to him earlier. "Whatever it is that you're wondering, please just give me a call... I'm an expert after all"

"Aiji, we're going home!" Neji called as the wind started blowing harder through the trees. He and Naruto had been sitting in the grass just like kids, laughing and joking around, throwing grass at each other and making fun of all the people passing through the park. It had lightened the older man's mood and now he was prepared to go home to face what needed to be arranged with the moving. Naruto smiled at this, totally sure now that he and Neji would be seeing quite a lot of each other in the future, which made him glad. He had missed his sempai from when they were in back in school.

"Don wanna!"

"Oh come one now… we don't want to keep your mother waiting…" Neji smiled down at his son, kneeling in front of both boys, reaching for his boy as if to hug him. "I'll by you ice-cream on the way…"

"Don wan any ice-cream…" the boy sobbed and gripped Tsuki's hand harder, both of them looking all devastated, Tsuki holding the bouquet of flowers tightly pressed to his chest, making Naruto smile sweetly.

"Aiji-chan, Tsuki…" He said and kneed by Neji's side in front of their sad faces. "I promise that you'll see each other soon again, maybe you can come over some day? Both of you..." At this he looked at Neji, meeting his eyes with his smiling blue orbs, noticing the slight blush on his sempai's cheeks._ 'Bullseye...' _he thought to himself, since not many people knew he could charm people as well, though in a slightly different way than Sasuke and Neji did.

"Really?!" The raven haired boy smiled at his dad and then looked up at Neji as well, smiling even brighter. "You can really come?" his smile was so innocent and so pure it made Neji even more moved then he already was, nodding, dumbstruck by both Tsuki and his father.

"Yay!" Both boys laughed and jumped around on their chubby legs, still holding hands and Naruto could not stop himself from lifting them both into his arms, spinning around with them, laughing, a fluttering feeling filling his stomach as he felt two pair chubby hands grip the fabric of his shirt.

"I'll see you soon, ne?" he smiled as he and Tsuki waved good bye to Neji and Aiji, watching them leave the park, Aiji clinging to his father's shoulder, looking back at them with sad and desperate eyes.

"Sooooon!" he called and Tsuki nodded, looking just as sad even though Naruto had promised."See you sooon Tsu-chan!"

Neji smiled softly at is son's sweetness and nodded at Naruto's suggesting statement. "What about this weekend?"

"Sounds grate, sempai" Naruto chuckled back and waved along with his son, feeling the warm weight relax slightly as Neji and Aiji was gone from their view, gripping his father's sweater harder then before though.

"Can I really see him soon..?" he asked with tears in his voice and Naruto buried his cold nose in the soft beck of the little one, his arms tightening around the child, ignoring the slight protesting struggles he was receiving as an answer to his exposed affection.

"Yeah... you can see him soon..."

-

"_Naruto..?" _

"_Yeah.. what now? You know I have to finish these if I'm ever gonna get to go home... it better be something important..." _

"_Hm..." _

"_Well, if you're gonna be like that you can always just go home straight away, jerk, cause I don't have time to stand here listening to you when you snort at me..."_

"_Naruto... I met this girl..." _

"_You always do, your point is?"_

"_...she think she is..."_

"_What? Pregnant? Come on I don't have time for this... clean up your own mess..."_

"_Fine, don't listen... it's not like you'd be of any help anyway..."_

-

"Ne... Daddy..."

"Yeah what is it Tsuki?" Naruto smiled and pulled the blanket around his warm little boy, lying down next to him on the bed, wrapping his arms around him while closing his eyes. He usually lay like that before Tsuki went to sleep, it calmed them both down and somehow, Naruto always felt loved like that, being the only one Tsuki trusted like this.

"Can you tell me a story..?"

The little one was already so tired he was yawning but Naruto couldn't resist him when he begged so sweetly. What to tell? He had told so many bedtime stories about princes and princesses and he had no idea what to tell next.

"About what..?"

"...a black kitten..."

Naruto drew a deep breath and sighed, remembering vaguely a story he had been told when he was a little boy. The story about the lost kitten and his new friend. The details were a bit unclear but he started any way, his stomach feeling warm now.

"Okay... There once was a little black kitten named Kuro, Kuro-chan was a sweet little kitten living with his brothers and his parents in a nice house on the countryside, he had everything he could have ever wished for... toys, food and his siblings to play with, even the children in the house loved him. But he still felt like something was missing..."

"What was missing..?" Tsuki asked and rolled over to the side, a little more awake now, looking at his father with his deep blue-black eyes.

"He wanted to go outside..."

"Why?"

"Well, you know how it feels when you can't go to the park even though you really want to? When you wanna see Aiji but you can't?"

"Yeah... that makes me sad..." the boy answered and looked down. Naruto smiled and raced the little one's chin with his slender finger.

"Well, this little kitten felt like that too..." he continued, drawing soft lines with his fingertip on Tsuki's forehead. "...and he wanted to be outside and play in the sunlight, but no matter how much he begged, no one would open the door for him..."

"That is just mean..."

"Yeah, you could say that... but think about it for a while, would you be able to be on your own outside?" He asked and when Tsuki eventually shook his head he continued with his story. "That was what everyone that cared about the little kitten thought as well, they just didn't want him to get hurt, so they didn't let him go outside..." He paused for a while, looking over to the toys lying on the floor, seeing the little black kitten, which had been tugged down in the basket along side Tsuki, that day two years ago. "Kuro-chan was so sad, always sitting by the window, watching the birds play in the sky and the rabbits play on the ground. So one day he decided that he would try to get out of his own, when he saw a window open he jumped up on the bench underneath it and managed to press himself out before anyone noticed..."

"But that's bad...! He could be hurt dad!" Tsuki whined and curled up closer against his father, making Naruto smile a little, softly patting his little boy on the back.

"Don't worry, he'll be fine... just listen" he whispered and then continued, talking softly not to scare him. "Kuro-chan was not scared, but he was careful, because his father had always told him that if he ever went outside, he should be careful and not talk..."

"To strangers?" Tsuki interrupted and Naruto chuckled.

"That's right Tsuki" he whispered and gently poked the little one's nose. "So when Kuro-chan went across the yard, he avoided everyone he saw, hiding under bushes, because the only thing he wanted was to get the chance to play outside for a change. So the little kitten went into the woods, hoping to find someone his own age to play with but after while his beloved sun started to fade away and he realized he was lost..."

"no way!?"

"Yes way" Naruto smiled again, used to be interrupted in his storytelling so it wasn't such a big deal, though he was just about to get to the good part. "So the little kitten sat down under a big tree and almost wanted to cry because he was all alone and his siblings and parents weren't there. Then suddenly, when the shadows around him seemed to grow even thicker and he really thought he was about to let his tears fall, he heard someone... Not a monster, Tsuki." He quickly added as his son hid his face under the blanket. "No, this wasn't something scary... kuro-chan heard someone crying"

"Eh..?"

"Yes, someone was crying behind a big rock close by to where Kuro-chan was sitting and he was so surprised he forgot about being scared himself" he whispered, wrapping his arms tighter around his boy, remembering his father had done the same for him... back then. "And since he was not scared any more, Kuro-chan went up to see who it was, crying so sadly behind that big cold rock..."

"Who was it dad..?"

"It was a little animal, with a fluffy red tail and he looked like he was not at all older than Kuro-chan..."

"A fox?"

"Yeah, a fox..." Naruto yawned, rubbing his temples a little. His day had been so tiering, first work; the night-shift, then extra work in the morning, then coming home and seeing the nanny out, looking around for Tsuki for half an hour at least, then heading out for the park after lunch...

"You wanna sleep daddy..?"

"Can we?"

"mhm..." Tsuki smiled and lifted his blanket up, pulling it over his dad as well, then patting Naruto's blond locks sweetly with his little hand. "G'night dad..."

"Good night Tsu..."

The little one smiled as his father fell asleep, he himself lying awake for a little while, thinking about the little kitten and the fox under the rock. He wondered sweetly if his dad would tell him the rest of the story the day after, reminding himself that he would tell the story his nanny when she came over later that evening. Yeah, she would love it for sure. He looked at his dad again, slowly reaching out to touch the stripes on his cheeks, pulling a little in his blond bang.

"I wanna see Aiji..."

* * *

**aw.. well :'3 what was your first impression? I know it might not catch your attention at first but please give it a shot :D soon there wil be some pretty interesting stuff going on! so please stay with me ne ;) **

**and please review you guys! I know you can! and if you don't then I don't know if you like it or not :/ it would be so sad if you dind't tell me what to do better and all... :/ do please give me your words XD haha thanks for reading! :D**

**see ya  
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	2. my memories

**Hi again people! I am so happy so many of you liked the first chapter and that it got both reviews, favs and alerts! :'D I sincerely thank you all for making my day, now that I am sick XD haha**

**okay, here comes the second chapter, called "my memories" and well, I don't think it will need that much description ;P however, I know that many of you want more hmm... lemon than I am giving you and I'm sorry for letting this story proceed so slowly XD but soon, things will start happening, I can promise you that ;) so please don't get bored with me 8D **

**If you think I should do something better please tell me ne? :P **

**Disclaimer: well, I do not own Naruto... and it makes me sad! Cause he is so sweet and cute and nice and wonderful I could just hug him to bits! any way... I can't ;__; cause I don't own him or the series **

**Warning!: yes, for those of you who has not gotten it yet, this will soon turn into a yaoi/shonen ai novel ;) meaning boyxboy love. So enjoy!  
**

* * *

"Tsuki-kun..." his nanny smiled as the boy ran like a twirl around the entire apartment, making a mess wherever he went. "Aren't you going to be a good boy now that your father will be home soon?" But the boy did not answer, instead he jumped up on the sofa, stretching his arms out like bird.

"Flap flap flap!" he laughed and jumped straight down onto the soft cushions. His smile was brighter than ever and his nanny smiled, arms crossed.

"Tsuki-kun..."

"Ne, ne Nee-chan" Tsuki smiled and looked up, the bump from where he hit his head on the table earlier still visible on his forehead.

"Hm?" his nanny chuckled and sat down next to the boy, riffling his hair with slender fingers. "What is it kid?"

"Do you like daddy..?"

"Of course I like him, why do you ask silly?"

"No... I mean..." Tsuki smiled and sat down normally next to this gentle person, the boy's feet dangling from the edge of the sofa. "Do you like him like you wanna move here with us?"

"Tsuki-kun, that's not a question you should ask so freely..!" came the flushed response as his nanny looked away.

"still! Do you?"

The front door opened as a rescue and Tsuki looked up at the sound, forgetting everything about his question, jumping of the sofa, shouting "Daddy!" with a big smile. Naruto smiled back at him as he saw his son come running, lifting him into the air and holding him tight. His night had been a total mess and now coming home to spend the entire weekend with his son was more than Naruto could have wished for.

"I'm home..." he smiled and closed his eyes to the warmth of his baby boy, always wondering in moments like this how you could possibly want to give something as warm and sweet up for nothing...

"Welcome back daddy!"

"I'll be leaving then..." the nanny smiled and came into the hallway, things packed already.

"No, why don't you stay and get something to eat?" Naruto smiled back and put Tsuki down on the floor, ruffing his hair. "Tsuki, can you go get some apples from the bowl in the living room?"

"Hai!" The little one smiled brightly and ran of, leaving the two grownups alone. Naruto grinned and the other one chuckled sweetly.

"Smart move Naruto-san"

"Neh..." Naruto still grinned and removed his shoes, moving into the kitchen to start with his plan; baking cupcakes. "How was your day? Did he eat okay?"

"Yeah he did fine, still thinks I'm a girl though" came the chuckling response and Naruto laughed slightly, looking back over his shoulder at the beautiful man, his grin turning into a slight smirk as he watched that slimed waist hand his long, raven hair.

"Well, I'm sorry to say it but it is hard to tell that you're not, Haku-san"

"No worries, you're not the first person to tell me that"Haku smiled back and put a part of his black bang behind his ear. "Maybe that's why I was so popular down at the bar..."

"Haha no, don't say that... they were only gay men who were into you" Naruto laughed back, kneeling by Tsuki who came running with a bunch of apples. "Thanks, wanna sit on the bench when I bake?"

"Yeah!" The boy giggled back and Naruto lifted him up to sit on the bench close to where Haku was standing. "Nee-chan, sit up here!" He then smiled and patted the bench lightly with his small hand, Haku giggling at the cuteness of him, looking at Naruto to see if it was really okay before jumping up easily to sit next to the boy.

"You're such a good boy, Tsuki-kun" he smiled and nudged the boy's forehead with his own.

"I know!"

Naruto shock his head softly with a grin and turned back to the mixture of sugar and flour in the bucket he was holding, mixing in eggs while listening to the conversation his son and Haku was having. Apparently they had seen some kind of movie or TV-show about a boy who had lost his plushy, Tsuki was really upset, going on about the fact that if you really liked something then you wouldn't lose it! Naruto smiled wider, his back still turned to them as he sprinkled cinnamon into the mass of white, then chopping the red apples into smalled pieces.

"It's not that easy you know, Tsuki-kun..." Haku tried to explain, pulling the little boy closer to his chest. "Sometimes you loose things even though you love them deeply, and when those things happen... you'll be just as sad as that boy in the movie..."

"Like when dad lost mom..?" Tsuki asked innocently and Naruto's chopping ceased, his stomach turned in a second of total regret. Would he ever be able to tell? After all, this was the largest secret he had ever kept, the biggest lie he had ever told this many people at once. If he told Tsuki too soon, what would happen..? And would he hate him if he told his boy to late? What would happen when Sasuke came back..? He couldn't stay away from Konoha forever, right? He had his entire life here... or... maybe it had not been much of a life...

He could hear Haku look up and immediately started chipping the apples again. He hated getting asked about Tsuki's mother, because even though she was just someone Naruto had made up, it made him cry... He had indeed lost the only kind of family he had left, Sasuke. The jerk had been his friend for years and the he just suddenly... left. Without even saying a word until Naruto had found that baby on his doorstep. Without even a proper good bye.

"Yeah..." Haku said and leaned his beautiful head against Tsuki's little frame, sighing deeply. "just like that..."

"Were you sad, dad?" Tsuki asked, not really understanding the tension in the air. Naruto sighed and turned to his son, pulling his arms around the warm little one, burying his eyes into the boy's black sweater, closing them hard.

"Yeah..." he whispered and felt those small hands hug around his head. "But I had you... so I pulled through, Tsuki..."

"You really need only me..?" the boy asked in his smallest voice, clinging to his father. "no mommy to clean or cook...?"

"I only need you..."

"Okay..."

Naruto softly let go and looked down at the sweet boy sitting in front of him. He really was nothing like that jerk, and still they looked so much alike it sometimes made him crazy. He placed a soft kiss on the little one's forehead before moving back from him, now smiling.

"You'll never lose me, Tsuki, remember that."

"You won't lose me at all ever in the world" the raven haired boy smiled back and Naruto's heart seemed like it wanted to stop.

_'I wish you are right...' _He thought as he turned back to his cupcakes, hearing how Haku poked Tsuki in his most ticklish spot._ 'I really wish you can stay with me forever...'_

The apartment smelled heavenly from the baking cakes and Tsuki was in the living room, on the floor, drawing pictures, Haku was still sitting on the bench behind Naruto's back, watching him clean everything up. The silence wasn't tensed, nor forced. They just didn't speak. Haku wasn't used to stick around when Naruto was at home, often he used to have something else to do after getting of in the afternoon but today his plans had been canceled so it was only nice to get to stick around.

Eventually the blond man finished and leaned on his hands against the sink, sighing deeply, his head falling forward a little as he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders. He looked so small right there, as if he was just waiting for his partner to come home after a hard day's work, Haku thought. But that person would never come...

"Naruto-san..." Haku almost whispered as he jumped down from where he had been sitting, his feet hitting the floor with only a soft thud, his soft arms and hands wrapping around Naruto's slender waist, burying his face in the bend of his neck. "Please don't carry everything by your self..." he then whispered lower, his arms tightening the grip. "If you're sad, be sad... if you're not happy, don't pretend to be..."

Naruto didn't push him away. It had been so long since any one held him like that, he couldn't move way, nor did he really want to. It was warm, having those arms around him, he felt safe, even just for the short time they kept holding him. Why was it so hard being alone? These arms, the arms he did not even know, felt so much better than being without... Haku had worked down at the strip club earlier, had he learned this there? That when someone is sad, even close contact from someone you don't know can make you feel better..?

_'Sasuke..' _he thought while standing there in the arms of this man, who he had recently just met. _'...were you lonely... was that why you..?'_

The clock over the oven started beeping suddenly and made Haku jump slightly behind his back, Naruto's face changing into a smile. "I'll just take these out..." he said and moved away slightly from those warm arms, bending down to take out the now ready apple-cupcakes, not really caring if Haku checked his ass out or not.

"Daddy!" Tsuki called while running into the kitchen, his eyes shining brightly. "can I have, can I have?"

"In a minute" Haku smiled and caught the boy before he got the chance to burn himself on the hot delicious cakes. "They have to cool down first... otherwise your hand will go "itee" you know." Tsuki only giggled at this and used Haku's arms to be able to climb the bench once more as Naruto sat the pastry down to cool as he prepared the cream.

Naruto could not help but smiling again as he then decorated the cakes sweetly with the pinkish colored cream, thinking that he must look like a girl, standing bent over the pastry with his fingers all covered with the draping and his tongue between his teeth. He chuckled a little at himself before straightening his back, making a content sound before turning with the plate covered with cupcakes to show them to his son and... well, the nanny.

"Woahh!" Haku said while admiring the small things, his cute cheeks blushing with enthusiasm. "you're like a real baker, Naruto-san! They look so professional.."

"Ehehe..." he smiled with a slight blush at the nice words. "we'll I do work at a pastry some days of the week..."

"Eh? Really? I didn't know..."

"Daddy, can I have?"

"Hm..." Naruto though about it for a second, looking at both the pair of puppy eyes he was given and then back to the cupcakes. "Okay, I guess you can have one each, but we'll save the rest until Neji and Aiji-chan gets here 'kay?"

"Hai!"

-

"_come on don't give me those eyes Sasuke..."_

"_Aw... you're so strict, why can't I even taste a little of it? Just the topping, please?" _

"_I said no! Hahhaha stop tickling me! That's not fair!"_

"_Then let me taste some!" _

"_No! Ahh! Not there! Stop it!" _

"_No way!" _

"_ahhh Haha!"_

"_You really are to stubborn sometimes you know..."_

"_Uff... What did you have to push me down for? I've got cream all over my fingers now jerk..."_

"_Then let me clean it up for you"_

"_Pervert!"_

"_tch... you talk to much..." _

"_mn!"_

-

Naruto sighed and went over to the sink as the others happily ate of the cupcakes._ 'will my memories from back then ever fade..?' _he thought as the pink cream was washed away along with the water._ '...my first kiss and you didn't even realize... jerk...' _

He turned to them and looked down at the plate, making sure they had only eaten one each before putting the pink cakes into the fridge. "Haku-san..." he then said with a soft but melancholic smile, meeting the other one's eyes. "Can you please stick around some more? I'll pay you extra, I just... have to get some rest before the others get here..."

"Of course!" Haku smiled even though his face was showing his worry. "Rest as much as you want, I understand that you need it after being up all night working... can I get you anything..?"

"Daddy always drinks tea before sleeping" Tsuki almost whined, somehow understanding that there is something wrong with his dad. This touched Naruto and he lifted his son into his arms, hugging him tightly, then looking at Haku again.

"Can you make me some tea? If it's not to much trouble...?"

"I'll be right there with it"

Naruto could feel the soft hand of his son grip the fabric of his shirt and he smiled, nuzzling his nose into the little one's neck. "I'm fine Tsuki... daddy is just tired.."

"But the story..? About Kuro..?" he whined and Naruto felt a chuckle reach his lips.

"I'll tell it to you tonight" he smiled. "I promise, since tonight I won't be working..."

"Really?" the little one smiled brightly and both Naruto and Haku looked at him with sweet smiled, the innocence so dashing you couldn't resist it.

"Yeah, really, so play for a while with Haku-nechan and Aiji-chan will be here before you know it"

Haku snort a little as he heard those words, the little one called "yay" with his arms up in the air before Naruto put him down. Haku obviously understood better now why Tsuki just wouldn't get the fact that he was a man. But he wasn't mad at all, just smiled and lifted the boy from where Naruto had put him down.

"You just worry about getting some sleep and I'll take care of everything else, Naruto-san"

"And Tsuki need a nap too..." He tried but Haku only smiled and pushed him slightly towards the door.

"Yes, yes we're fine"

Naruto closed the door to the room behind him, silence falling all around him as he went over to pull out the curtains, pulling his hand through his hair with a deep sigh. He actually felt pathetic for this, knowing that if he just went to sleep next to Tsuki he would feel okay. Still, he had chosen to go alone, silly... The room was always to quiet, he never slept in there alone. When he was at home in the evenings, which was not very often, he always slept with Tsuki, either in the boy's room or in here. Really, he had almost always done that, and as long as Tsuki was still just a kid he could keep doing that but... He needed to get himself together. At least, learning how to sleep alone, not having to worry about what was going on with Tsuki, would be the first step...

So with those thought sin mind he crawled down under the all too cold covers, pulling a pillow into his arms, almost as if to try to recreate the shape of the boy._ 'Really... I am pathetic..'_ he thought and buried his face into the pillow, to many thoughts in his mind._ '..I'm so scared to lose him too... that I don't know what to do... what if I wake up and he is not here... like back then...'_

-

"_Mommy, don wanna sleep..."_

"_Come on now Naru-chan... it's time and you promised you'd go to sleep after getting that ice-cream" _

"_But..."_

"_Come now Naruto, me and your mother are tired too..."_

"_Minato don't complain so much..."_

"_Can't you stay with me..? a little..?"_

"_Fine kid, heh, should we hug you like this, both of us?"_

"_Yeah... it's warm like this..."_

"_Aw... Naru-chan you're always so cute when you're sleepy..."_

"_Kushina, you're always so crazy about him when he is sleepy" _

"_Of course I am, he is my beloved son after all"_

"_Mom you're squeezing me...!"_

"_Haha..." _

"_Mom... dad..." _

"_Yeah?" _

"_I love you..."_

"_We love you too honey..." _

"_Will you be here when I wake up..?" _

"_Of course silly... we'll always be here you know..." _

-

He sighed and pulled the pillow even closer, feeling his eyes burning from tiredness and uncried tears._ '..please be with me when I wake up...' _he thought before finally feeling his body numbing with tiredness. '...I don't wanna wake up alone again...'

"Naruto-san..?" Haku whispered softly into the dark room, holding a cup of tea in his hands, Tsuki clinging at his leg. "Are you asleep..?" When the man on the bed did not answer, Haku smiled and softly walked inside, whispering to Tsuki to stay outside, then putting the seaming cup down on the nightstand, brushing a blond lock out of the young man's face. "You know..." he whispered as his smile grew slightly. "I can see that Tsuki will become a good young boy soon, all thanks to you... you really are something..."

"..people keep telling me that..." came Naruto's sleepy response and Haku's finger twitched a little in surprise, but then he sighed, sitting down on the bedside still stoking that soft cheek.

"That's because it's true..." he whispered back, because it was, Naruto really was special. "..and even though you can't see it your self, you should listen more to what people are saying, because you really are amazing..."

"Thank you..."

"Hm? For what?"

"For staying longer..."

"You told me you would pay me extra" Haku joked and a smile tugged at Naruto's lips by those words. Haku stood up after a little while, looking down at this young father, wondering what life would be like if you had a son and were all alone, but he didn't dare to ask, just like everyone else. "Sleep tight... Naruto-san..."

At the moment when the doorbell rang, Naruto woke up with a silent scream, his breath quicker than usual, his body sweaty and his clothes soaked. He had had a nightmare and even though he couldn't remember what had happened he was still so shocked he couldn't move for another five minutes.

He could distantly hear how Haku opened the door, how Neji sounded surprised and how Tsuki jumped Aiji. They were all happy and Haku explained the situation, Neji only chuckled in his usual understanding way and helped his son of with his shoes before letting both boys roam free.

Naruto sighed deeply where he was sitting in the large bed, his breath still uneven, his hands clasping the blanket just as hard as he had when he woke up. There was such a terrible feeling of terror filling him that even though he tried, he couldn't pull himself together. He had been so certain he would die as soon as he woke up, that he'd be all alone and die from loneliness, still... hearing Tsuki's mild laughter did not make the feeling go away at all, as it usually did.

A soft knock on the door made his body stiffen and he tightened the grip his had around the blanket and his knees, which were raised to his chest. He was so cold and so tire he just wanted to crawl into a tight ball but his body still wouldn't move.

"Naruto..?" Came Neji's soft voice from the direction of the door and Naruto could feel the shivers run down his spine. "Are you up..?"

Neji walked in with soft steps, but seeing how Naruto was sitting on the bed, the blond's entire body shaking he took three steps and was already by the bed, sitting down beside him, almost reaching out as if to take him in his arms, but hesitated.

"Naruto? Are you okay?" he asked, his voice filled with worry over the sweet man in front of him. He had not in a million years thought he would find the always so happy Naruto in a state like this. "Are you in pain..?"

Naruto only shook his head. What on earth could he say? He did not even remember why he was shaking like this, what it was in his dream that had caused him to panic like this. He was so cold, his damp body cooling down even more now that his body had stopped pulsing. He couldn't stop himself from shivering with that fear, even though he knew everyone was okay, he could hear Tsuki, he could hear both Haku and Aiji and Neji was right there in front of him... still... he was so scared.

-

"_Naruto.. what's wrong? Did you have a nightmare..?"_

"_I don't know... I just... woke up and... was shaking..." _

"_Hey... calm down... I'm here, it's okay now..." _

"_...I'm scared...."_

"_You don't need to be... you're not alone okay?" _

"_...Sasuke... what if I wake up and you're gone..?" _

"_I won't be gone..."_

"_..but..." _

"_And if I am, then you can always call me... at any time, I don't mind if it's in the middle of the night... call me and I'll be right beside you..." _

"_..."_

"_Naruto, we're best friends right? Do you really think I would just disappear..?"_

-

"Naruto..?"

He looked up with shaking lips, his eyes filling up with hot, salty tears as he looked at his sempai, his mind in total chaos. He didn't care if he shamed himself, he just needed those strong arms to hold him, no matter what Neji would think of him... But before he even got the chance to say it out loud, those arms were already around him, pulling him close to Neji's chest in the matter of seconds.

"Jeez... if you need a hug just tell me" he whispered softly as Naruto closed his eyes hard against the soft shirt in front of him. "Don't sit in here by your self next time... make sure you tell someone you're not feeling well okay..?"

"Yeah..." Naruto half sobbed and tried to calm his nerves, tried to be calm. Those warm arms didn't feel the same, but they felt good in some way. He could breath easier now and after a little while he sat up straight again, Neji's arms releasing him and the older one giving him a soft, encouraging smile. Naruto wiped his eyes slowly and reached for his cellphone, looking at the screen-saver, Tsuki with that soft smile of his, else than that, the screen was empty.

"_...call me and I'll be right beside you..."_

_'No matter if I called you or not... I don't even thing you'd answer me...'_ He thought as he watched the phone, the screen reflected in his blue eyes. There was no way Sasuke would pick up after all these years... he had probably already changed his number. Even so, Naruto's thumb moved over the buttons softly. _'I don't care if your number is changed... at least... I...' _

"Who are you texting..?" Neji asked in curiosity, common knowledge that Naruto had no family often made people ask that question, Naruto was used to it by now. So he sighed and pressed "send" before looking up again.

"Sometimes, when I'm really feeling bad..." he started, this part so rehearsed that he knew it by heart. "...I text Tsuki's mother... even though I know she won't answer me.. It makes me feel as if though she is listening..."

Neji nodded, looking as if though he understood and was not judging, making Naruto smile a little. He knew he had to keep lying until the very end, and this was just a white lie... He was not texting his old girlfriend, the mother of the boy playing in his living room but, he was texting the father... the man that Naruto, no matter how hard he tried to deny it, had secretly loved for more than half his life...

"_Sasuke, you told me to call you, even in the middle of the night if I ever felt like I was dying... but I guess I can't do that any more... right..?"_

Naruto looked back at his phone again. He had sent it, the first message in a year at least. He knew though that there would not be an answer, he was sure, because he had tried before. He sighed, already regretting what he had done, why was he so weak? There was nothing left for him there... Sasuke had just left, after being his best friend since they were kids, he had just left... without any warning or even a proper good bye. And like as if that wasn't enough, he had dropped his bastard kid on Naruto's doorstep, as if Naruto would still do anything for him. Though, he kind of understood how Sasuke must have been thinking...

Sasuke had never wanted a kid, never wanted to get married. He always used protection, or, almost every time it seemed, and even though he had a good income, he would never be able to raise a child all by himself.

Naruto, on the other hand, had always wanted a baby, he always used to babysit Kurani's baby boy when ever he had time and Sasuke had admired him for that. Now that Naruto thought about it, if Sasuke had not given him this boy, what would have happened to him? Had Sasuke been forced to take him to that orphanage? Leaving him in that horrid place where children run away from every other day? No father would want to do that willingly, not even Sasuke... And... getting Tsuki was the most wonderful thing Naruto had ever gotten, even though it had forced him to grow up immediately, get two jobs and lie fro the rest of his life... okay, it was hard as hell but... he wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Or maybe... if Sasuke would never have left in the first place he might... No! There was no chance that he would ever want to change this. Tsuki was his life. No matter how you looked at it, his life had never been happier. He finally had a family, someone to take care of, someone who loved him unconditionally and without being asked. So even though he was pissed to bits at Sasuke for leaving him with an infant to take care of... somehow... he could never thank him enough in his mind and his heart...

"I'm okay now" he smiled at Neji's worried expression, snapping the phone shut and dropping it on top of the covers. There was no point in tanking it with him, if someone called he would hear it and since Sasuke wouldn't answer, why bring it to the living room? He'd just forget where it was. "I heard you met Haku?"

"Yeah..." Neji chuckled and looked towards the door as if checking if someone was watching them. "I must say, I am pretty surprised and actually envious of you"

"Envious?" Naruto half chuckled as he quirked his eyebrow at the older man, starting to suspect that Neji had also seen something in Haku that wasn't necessarily true. "of me?"

"Well..." Neji started, still not looking back at him, watching the door as if now a bit embarrassed with himself. "Haku-san is a beautiful woman... and I didn't know you already had someone in your life..." Naruto could not help but laugh a little, even though his fright was still not completely gone. This could actually be fun, so he decided to play along for a while...

"Already?" he repeated in stead of pinpointing the fact that Haku was actually a man. "It has been two years since Tsuki's mother died, aren't I allowed to "already" have someone here with me?"

Neji blushed at this, which amused Naruto more than he thought it would. He and Neji had not been that close back at school, at least not in the beginning. But when Sasuke and Naruto had joined the students council, Neji had always been chosen as council president and they got to know each other pretty well at meeting and activities. Now, when Neji had a boy Tsuki's age, he and Naruto met quite a few times to exchange tips and stories, using their kids as some kind of excuse to meet. But never, in all the years Naruto had known his sempai, had he seen him act shy or blush, weirdly enough, until now.

"Well of course you can" the man finally answered after the long silence. "I was just not prepared for it, that's all.."

"Sorry for not telling you" Naruto almost giggled and stretched his body like a kitten. "On another note, I've made cupcakes" he then added with a grin.

"Haha, then Aiji will be pleased"

"I figured" Naruto smiled and then looked up as both boys and Haku entered the room.

"Daddy!" Tsuki called and jumped onto the large bed, crawling into Naruto's arms immediately. As soon as the warmth of this boy surrounded him, every little bit of his worry seemed to be washed away and he sighed, finally.

"I'll be on my way now" Haku smiled and patted shy little Aiji on the head, making the boy blush furiously but he didn't run away. "It was nice to meet you, Neji-san"

"The pleasure was all mine" Neji half smirked back and Neji lowered his eyes shyly, just like a girl would have done under such a predatory gaze.

"I'll see you, Naruto-san..."

"I'll see you to the door" Naruto hurried and stood up, lifting Tsuki up with him, just smiling when Haku gave him a surprised look. If he was going to play with Neji's ignorance he had to do it right, otherwise the older man would see through his fun. "let's go"

Haku nodded and walked out the door, closely followed by Naruto who was grinning like always. The slender man in front of him seemed to understand something was going on because as soon as they reached the front door he turned around and gave Naruto one of his 'okay, tell me what's going on-gazes' which made Naruto chuckle.

"Neji didn't get you're ma man either" he half whispered and then grinned as Haku snort with malcontent. "Oh come on, it's fun, he thinks we're dating" He then added and nudged Haku in the side, the feminine guy twitching slightly, ticklish as he was.

"Then why don't we convince him that is the case, if you find it so funny?" He then said and nodded to behind Naruto where Neji was coming out of the bedroom with his son. But before Naruto could even chuckle at this, Haku had gripped him softly by the neck, placing a sweet kiss on the blond man's lips. "I'll see you later, Naruto..." he half smirked as their lips parted then walked out of the apartment, leaving Naruto in slight shock.

"I see you're not just dating then?" Neji asked and walked passed the dumbstruck man into the kitchen, carrying his son with him, both Tsuki and Aiji looking at Naruto with big eyes. "Since she doesn't mind sticking her tongue in your mouth?" He sounded teasing but there was something in his voice that was still different from his normal teasing sound, making Naruto snap out of his shock, looking back at his sempai.

"You jealous?" He asked with a grin, wiping his mouth with his sleeve when Neji wasn't looking. Jeez, had Haku really done that? Out of the blue..? There was no way Haku liked him in that way. They had not known each other for very long but Naruto was sure he knew when someone liked him. He could tell stuff like that, though Sasuke had always laughed when he said it.

-

"_Have you someone that likes you right now, Naruto?" _

"_Haha no, I would have noticed" _

"_Really?" _

"_Yeah, really. Do you doubt it?"_

"_Haha yeah I do! Come on, that girl confessed to you right out of the blue yesterday and you had no idea she was in love with you"_

"_that's different" _

"_Naruto, how can that be different? You wouldn't even notice if your best friend was desperately in love with you... airhead" _

"_Sasuke, my best friend is you, that would never happen" _

"_Oh come on, even if it did happen you'd just deny it until I raped you" _

"_Shut up perv!"_

"_Haha"_

-

"I didn't say that" Neji answered and opened the fridge, taking out some milk for his boy.

"I know" Naruto grinned and put Tsuki down on the floor, taking out the cupcakes while nudging Neji in the side, leaning against him sweetly. "If you had said it out loud, I wouldn't have had to ask"

"Well I'm not..." Neji said, his voice matter of factly but his head was turned away almost as soon as he opened his mouth. Naruto could see he was embarrassed or maybe ashamed, witch actually shocked him somewhat. Could it be that Neji actually liked him? Or, was it just the fact that Naruto was so close and Neji had just seen him kiss a "gorgeous girl"?

_'Yeah, it must be like that' _Naruto thought and nodded to himself as he placed to cupcakes on the table, taking of the plastic drapery that had covered them. _'If Neji would have liked me in a romantic way he would definitely have tried to win me over by now, especially since.. well, since Sasuke left, two years ago... Neji isn't the kind of person who would just stay quiet about who he wants to shag, really, he is just like Sasuke only... more humble? Nah... besides, Neji likes girls, he would never sink so low as to fall for a guy... he's already made that clear...'_

"Daddy, can I have?" Tsuki asked and Naruto lifted the boy up on one of the chairs, nodding sweetly, then lifting little Aiji up to sit on the same chair, them so small they fitted perfectly. His son smiled brightly and reached for a cupcake but when little Aiji made the cutest puppy eyes he gave it to his friend instead. "Here you gooo..."

Naruto sat down too, in front of the two boys. They were always so cute it was priceless. Neji came over to sit beside him as well, giving both boys a glass of milk and Naruto smiled at this as well. He really admired Neji for being so good with kids, compared to Sasuke, Neji was always better at everything involving people skills and children and that was good. He wasn't bad-ass and not inappropriately perverted, he was kind and gentle in his words, not rough and ill-tempered. Really, Neji was a wonderful person and...

"Naruto?" Neji interrupted his thoughts as he held out a cupcake to his blond friend. "You were spacing out again"

"I was not!"

"You were, I can tell you know" Neji chuckled and Naruto looked down. Sasuke had had a loads of fun at him for this back at school. At lunch period, he always used to poke Naruto's forehead, chuckling and telling him he was spacing out. Even at student council meetings he used to get poked by Sasuke's cold, slender fingers and everyone laughed. No wonder Neji had learned how to see it too.

"What ever..." Was the only thing Naruto could press out, feeling a bit uneasy, talking about Sasuke with this man, who had been one of Sasuke's closest back when they graduated; the two players... It had been two years since Sasuke left, still, reminiscing about this made his heart throb with pain. No matter what he did, he could not bring himself to hate Sasuke for what he had done. People around him did though, saying Sasuke was this major jerk who abandoned Naruto as a friend when he needed one the most. Others said Sasuke had gotten married somewhere to some rich woman and that he was a jerk for not even sending a letter to his friends back in Konoha to invite them to the wedding. Not that Naruto believed any of these rumors but... it still hurt, hearing all those harsh words about his oldest friend, his... yeah...

"I'm sorry..." Neji said after a little while, looking down at the half eaten apple cupcake in his hand. "I... I shouldn't have brought stuff like that up."

"No it's okay..." Naruto responded, still watching his hands in his lap but trying to sound as if it did not bother him that much, though he failed quite miserable at this. "I just... I don't talk that much about school and things like that any more so, when someone pulls it up I have all these flashbacks..."

"About him?"

"Yeah.."

"Naruto, if you need to talk about it I'm here you know" the older man sighed and took another bite, munching a little, waiting for Naruto to respond, but when he didn't, Neji kept talking. "...I won't say anything bad about him, cause I can see it hurts you every time you hear something like that..." At this, Naruto looked up in surprise, no one had ever understood that before, at least not said it out loud. "...and I can see you miss him, so, I just want you to know that I miss him too, and... well, if you need someone to speak too..."

"Thank you..." Naruto half blushed and smiled sweetly, his eyes burning again but there was no way he could show it. "...it already feels better, knowing that you feel somewhat like me..."

"Somewhat...

"Yeah..." Naruto sighed and took a little bite of his cake. "he was my best friend, since we were kids, and... well... losing him was something of the hardest I've gone through..."

"Yeah I... I guess I can't really feel like that" Neji smiled, but only a little, looking back at Naruto. "But still, I'm here for you"

Naruto felt his stomach loosen a little from the tight ball it had curled up to. It was true Neji did not really know, but it really felt better now as he knew there was another person in the world who also missed that blown up, idiotic, self-centered jerk. Naruto smiled a little, taking another bite, sighing sweetly as the delicious cupcake made his body content. Really, no matter how hard he tried there was no way Sasuke was a bad guy in his eyes. Even though he had screwed around and left him with his son, Naruto only missed him. Wishing still that he would come back some day, that he would see what a beautiful son he had, that he would stay and be by Naruto's side once more... Even though it was impossible and he knew it, Naruto still wished from the bottom of his heart, that some day, sometime... Sasuke wold come back to his family, because they were still waiting.

* * *

**hmmm so what will happen next? **

**Naruto sent a textmesage to Sasuke and now Haku has kissed him? :O and what will happen between Neji and the blondie? Will Neji find out about the lie now that he is going to spend some time in Naruto's apartment? :O or will he descover where Naruto's heart truly lies?!**

**and what about Naruto's wish..?  
**

** Find out soooon :D **

**and please keep reviewing :D you make me so happy every time!  
**


	3. my dreams

**Hi again minna-san! **

**it's been a while and for that I apologize -making puppy eyes- School is killing me for the moment and even though this chapter has been almost done for some time now I have just not gotten the time to sit down calmly and write :/ but anyways... Christmas break is coming up and even though I am stressed out about it I am happy to finally get some free time to write -chuckles- **

**There is not really a clear thread to where this story is going so I hope that you don't get to many hopes up -lol- I have the whole story planned in my mind and I think it will turn out slightly different from what you might think ;) I hope you will like the cuteness and angst in this chapie too :D **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of this... only the genially written text and the gorgeous storyline 8D so enjoy!**

**Warning!: you guys! be ashamed of your selves! :O you're about to read yaoi!!! and that is GAY PORN!!!! hehe... or at least... this story will develop into it I hope 8D but only cuteness for now! so if you don't like to hear Naruto drool over hot guys then don't read! and for God's sake don't complain to me about it! 8D thanks!**

**enjoy!  
**

* * *

"Hey come on now..." Naruto smiled and softly pulled the covers up once over the struggling boys, since Tsuki always kicked it of each time the blanket covered them. "I know you don't wanna go to sleep already but you'll have all day to play tomorrow too... and if you fall asleep now I promise you'll get cupcakes for breakfast"

"Don wanna have cupcake" Tsuki wined and looked grumpy, Aiji not saying anything since he clearly loved cupcakes but he joined in on Tsuki's grumpy expression, making them both look even more adorable.

"Tsuki, Aiji" Neji smiled as he sat down on the side of the bed, patting his own son on the head, then poking Tsuki's nose gently. "If you don't sleep you'll be so tired in the morning that maybe you can't play together at all..."

"Eh?" Aiji wined and looked at his slightly older friend, Naruto only chuckled.

"Okay" he said and looked at Neji with brightly smiling eyes. "What about if I tell you the rest of the story then?" he asked and met Tsuki's eyes, the boy now suddenly stopped fighting. "And then you can go to sleep like good boys?"

"Really?" Tsuki asked and his little face cracked up into a soft smile, making Aiji smile as well.

"Yeah, if you'd like?"

"Yeah!"

Naruto knew this always worked with Tsuki, even though the boy was always fighting when it was time to sleep, he always came around when Naruto mentioned the word "story", if Naruto remembered correctly, he had been just the same when he was little. He now looked at Aiji, wondering slightly if the little one would be able to follow the story he had already told half of to Tsuki, but before he could ask, Neji spoke up from the other side of the bed.

"Aiji will like anything, he is already half asleep"

Naruto grinned sweetly at this, seeing that the little brown haired one was actually blinking a lot more slowly than he normally did, his deep purple eyes a little glossy. This would only make him fall asleep quicker.

"Okay..." Naruto started and made sure Tsuki was well tucked in before continuing his storytelling. "Where was I..? Oh right..." He smiled and half lay down at the side of the bed, watching Tsuki's soft smile. "Little kitten Kuro-chan had gone into the woods and gotten lost, but when he was about to start crying he suddenly heard someone else cry underneath a big rock..."

"The little fox!" Tsuki smiled and Naruto nodded, softly stroking his son's soft cheek.

"Underneath the big rock, the little fox was crying and Kuro-chan could not help but feel sorry for him..." Naruto continued, noticing that even Neji was listening now. "...Why was this cute little animal siting in the middle of the wood, crying, he thought and slowly crawled closer, so that he wouldn't scare the little red thing..."

"Was he lost as well?" Tsuki asked, waring his eager face, wanting to know everything before it happened but Naruto would never spoil like that.

"You'll have to listen and see" he chuckled and poked his son's forehead, just like Sasuke would have done if he was there. "Even though Kuro-chan was trying to walk slowly and in a not so scary way, he suddenly stepped on a small branch and it made a cracking sound, making the crying little animal jump and look up in fear... "Who are you?" the little fox asked, wiping his tears and Kuro-chan was first a little surprised that the little red animal seemed so hostile towards him...."

"Hostile...?" Tsuki asked and looked at his father with his dark eyes. "What's that..?"

"Yeah, what's that..?" Aiji added sweetly even though he was almost already asleep.

"It means Kuro-chan wondered why the little fox seemed to be angry or scared of him..." Neji answered them and then gave Naruto an encouraging smile, wanting him to continue.

"Any way, "I am Kuro" the little kitten answered and moved a little closer, looking at the little red animal with deep blue, gentle eyes. "I'm not gonna hurt you" he then said and sat down next to the little fox. "So... who are you..?" The little fox seemed less scared now that Kuro seemed to be such a nice cat and he sat up too, cleaning his cute whiskers a little before answering. "I'm Kitsu..."

Naruto paused there, looking at Aiji who had fallen asleep, the at Tsuki who looked eager to hear the rest of the story. Those bright, dark-colored eyes were just the same as Sasuke's had been back when they were younger, making Naruto shiver as he saw how much alike they were. How would it be when Tsuki grew up..? Would he look so much like Sasuke it would be dangerous for him..? Would everyone suspect..? Would he be surrounded by fangirls just like his father, or would he stay in the shadows..? He was such a sweet boy... Naruto didn't want his life to be ruined...

"The little kitten and the little fox talked for a long time, joking around and even laughed together...." Naruto continued when Tsuki started making that face he always made when he wanted his dad to continue. "Kuro-chan had never met such a lovely animal before, even though he looked and sounded different than any one he had ever met, Kuro-chan was so happy they had gotten to know each other. As the morning came, Kuro-chan and the little fox named Kitsu had fallen asleep under the big rock, tail around tail, close to each other to be able to keep warm." At this, Naruto looked down at Tsuki again, smiling as he saw both boys holding hands, Tsuki's eyes now half lidded. "But as the light brightened up the woods Kuro-chan woke up and had to go home, so he softly stood up, wondering if he should wake Kitsu-chan up so that he could say good bye.."

"He should..." came a sleepy comment from Tsuki and Naruto's smile widened. This boy was just too sweet. He was already asleep and still he was listening. Naruto bent closer to his boy, kissing his forehead sweetly before standing up.

"Good night Tsuki" he then whispered. "I'll tell you the rest some other day..." When the boy did not reply, Naruto was sure he had fallen completely asleep and was about to leave the room when he suddenly realized Neji wasn't following him. As he looked back he couldn't help but to smile, seeing Neji sleeping next to the boys like a big baby. 'so cute...' he thought and softly pulled a blanket up over his sempai. 'I guess he'll get up in a while..'

Naruto softly left the room after making sure they all were comfortable, walking into the kitchen on soft feet, starting to make some tea. The clock on the wall showed half passed eight and the sun had colored the sky bright pink at the horizon. He felt quite content as he sat there on the bench where he usually put Tsuki, drinking a little of his tea while eating one of the hundred cupcakes, looking out the kitchen window. It was peaceful just sitting there, as it had been before Tsuki came, when he and Sasuke still used to stay up all night watching movies and drinking tons of tea. He sighed a little and let his face break into a soft smile... memories.

-

"_Naruto...?"_

"_Mhm..?" _

"_You tired..?"_

"_No not really... you?" _

"_No..." _

"_You want some more tea..?" _

"_Haha Naruto... you drink too much tea, no wonder you're not tired..." _

"_You drink just as much as I do..!"_

"_well of course, when I spend so much time with you, you affect me..." _

"_Oh how very romantic! Haha" _

"_you're the one to talk dobe!" _

"_Hahaha no tickling!" _

"_Why not? You're laughing, aren't you?"_

"_Ahahahah in agony yes! Not there!!" _

"_Why not? This is where you're the most ticklish after all... hehe" _

"_Ahh! Pervert! Hahahahha..."_

"_...So innocent..." _

"_Eh..? Sasuke... What's with the hug..?" _

"_Nothing.."_

"_But..?" _

"_Just shut up dobe..."_

-

"Naruto..?"

The soft voice made him twitch slightly and he reached for his eye, wiping the soft tear lingering under his blue oceans. He had not even noticed Neji coming out of the bedroom, even less entering the kitchen. He sighed and turned to his friend with a soft smile, hoping he didn't have time see the tear he had wiped away.

"Good morning sleepy head..." he said even though his voice was weaker than usual, to his own fright. Really, sometimes he had a hard time to hide his emotions and he hated himself and his body for it. "I just couldn't wake you when you were sleeping so cutely..." he then added and sipped some of his tea in a little attempt to try hiding his feelings better.

"Ehe..." Neji half chuckled and scratched his neck, leaning against the side of the bench where Naruto was sitting. "I was obviously tired... so, thanks for letting me sleep for a while I guess"

"You're welcome" Naruto grinned and softly jumped down from his seat, pouring Neji a cup of tea as well, almost ready to pour milk into it before realizing his mistake. "You want your tea black right..?" He asked as he put the milk down, looking at the cup with a knob on his stomach once more. Sasuke didn't like sweets, but he always had sugar and milk in his tea...

"Yeah, can't believe you remember that from back at school" Neji chuckled, not really seeing the change in Naruto's tensing body, still looking out the window where he as well spotted the beautiful sky. Naruto relaxed a little, relieved Neji didn't seem to notice, handing him the cup of tea with a gentle smile.

"Why would I ever forget, sempai?"

Neji smiled back as he took the cup and it was obvious the title "sempai" brought him back to those days when the three of them had been spending lunch-period in the park, splashing water at Naruto's school uniform just to see the cute look on hos face when he whined at them or just lying in the grass, talking about everything and nothing... even Sasuke had been social at times like that.

They both stood there, in silence, watching the sky turn from bright pink to dark violet, Naruto's hands gripping the cup of half drunk tea he was holding, sighing as he felt that same old longing again. It was weird, that after two years, his feelings were still the same as when they had felt school... He didn't want them to be, it would only hurt everyone involved in the end.... especially himself...

"so..." Neji started after minutes of soft silence. "What does Haku-san think about having to leave to give you the time to be with me?"

Naruto felt the side of his mouth twitch into a soft smile at this. Would he still play as if though Haku was his girlfriend? Or would he just tell Neji now that they were actually going to spend quite some time together..? He couldn't really decide, so he figured he would just go with what ever came up in his mind.

"Haku doesn't live here so it's not such a big deal.."

"I see..." came Neji's response and the silence fell once more, leaving Naruto with his smile, still watching the blue blue sky. There was a bird circling the sky up there, maybe a falcon or an eagle, making him feel so small down on the ground.

"You wanna watch a movie or something...?" he then asked, eyes still on the circling bird, thinking about Sasuke again, his mind some what believing it is him he is talking to, even though he knows that will never happen again. Movie-nights with Sasuke, sipping tea like maniacs until morning... those memories would always be lying right next to his heart, warming his chest.

"Sure" came Neji's voice, snapping Naruto out of his dreaming moment. "If I can have a cupcake as well?"

Naruto only grinned at this and handed him one before walking out into the living room, putting his cup down on the table before kneeling by the TV, opening the lockers to see if he had anything interesting that Neji also might like. Neji followed him in and seated himself in the sofa, stretching his legs and yawning a little. Naruto could not help himself as he let out a slight giggle, somehow, when he spent time like this with Neji, it felt as if though they were a married couple. He looked back at Neji and his smile grew, it was kind of nice.

"So what do you wanna see?" He then asked and Neji looked back at him with a slight grin.

"As long as it's not some love drama I'm fine with anything"

Naruto chuckled and picked one from the stack furthest in. Most of the movies he watched these days where stuff like "spunch bob square pants" or "My neighbor Totoro" which made his need for good movies ache and the pile in the furthest back of the cupboard grew full with dust. Last time he had watched this one must have been that time when Sasuke had just left and he had been sitting with Tsuki sleeping in his lap, tears streaming down his cheeks. Maybe he should give it another shot, now that he wasn't alone... since this was his and Sasuke's favorite movie....

After putting the disc in the DVD-player, he threw the cover to Neji as if to check one last time if he really was okay with it. His sempai lifted it and looked at it for one second before chuckling lightly.

"I haven't seen the end of this one..." He said and Naruto smiled brightly as he crawled up in the sofa next to the slightly older man, so used to it being Sasuke still that he leaned himself against Neji like a pillow before even asking first, making Neji laugh. "I see you're making your self comfortable?"

Naruto only nodded and leaned a little more against him until he felt Neji's arm around his shoulders, now content. "Well yes, I want a nice pillow when I watch this movie..." He then responded and looked at the cover of the movie. Final fantasy – Advent Children... There were so many memories connected to this movie, so many smiles and laughs he could not help but smile now as well, even though thinking about the gorgeous player made him sad inside. Sasuke was really... truly... stupid, a dumb-ass, such a jerk... and so funny.

-

"_hey, sleepy head... wake up.." _

_Naruto felt his eyelids twitch a little and he pit his lip, stretching out like a kitten against the warm body enveloping him. He felt so sleepy and there was nothing he wanted more than just to lie down again into that warmth and go back to sleep. The light was dim in the room and as soon as he realized that he also understood that there was no way he was going to be able to go back to sleep again. _

"_What..?" He half moaned and tried to cover his eyes with the blanket that was wrapped around him. Hey, when did that blanket get there in the first place? He choose not to care and buried his face in it anyway. "couldn't you just let me sleep here..?"_

"_No I couldn't, and you always fall asleep before the movie is over" that so well known voice half chuckled and a soft hand tried to pull the blanket away from Naruto's face. "...plus... you know I can't sleep without my pillow, ey, Naruto"_

_In a split second Naruto's eyes popped open and he looked up, removing the blanket quickly to be met by those dark blue, almost black orbs belonging to none other than Uchiha Sasuke. Naruto felt his cheeks immediately fill up with red blush but somehow he didn't feel the urge to either yell or kick and beat the man, instead he relaxed and closed his eyes again. _

"_No way I'm getting up..." he said while thinking to himself that this must be a dream, the most warm dream he had had in years in that case, and he might as well enjoy it until he woke up. "...you'll have to sleep here with me... bastard" _

_He could hear Sasuke's soft chuckle behind his back, feel that warm body envelope him once more, his strong arms pulling Naruto closer by the waist, Naruto fitting like a glove against the older one's warmth. _

"_I've missed you so much...." Sasuke whispered while lying that close and Naruto could feel his hot breath against his neck, shivering with that terrible longing he had felt all these years. He really still did love Sasuke after all, and even though this was only a dream, he wished terribly to open his eyes and realize Sasuke was really there, that he had never left, that it could all go back to how it once had been... with no worries and no boundaries. Just lying on the couch, drinking soda and eating cupcakes while making fun of everyone and everything, tickling, joking or just talking... _

"_I've missed you too..." he managed to whisper out, feeling as if though he was about to cry even though he was in the middle of a dream. Those warm arms closed themselves tighter around his waist as he said those words and his tears fell slowly down his cheeks. "...so much..."_

"_Naruto...?"_

"_Yes..?"_

"_...I'd give it all to you, a thousand times..."_

"_Give me what Sasuke..?"_

"_....I never wanted to leave you..." _

"_Sasuke..?" Naruto tried to turn but somehow he couldn't, if it was because he had no control over his dream he did not know but it tormented him. Why hadn't he taken a closer look at Sasuke's face? Why hadn't he looked at the man he loved one last time...? "What are you talking about..?"_

"_....I love you"_

-

"Hey, sleepy head... wake up"

Naruto felt as if though his head was going to burst and he didn't want to wake up, instead he covered his face with the blanket covering him. This wasn't Sasuke's voice, even though he had thought so at first. This was reality and Sasuke was gone, Sasuke didn't love him, he would never come back, that was the way it was supposed to be.

"Five more minutes...." he half wined and felt his dream repeating itself even though it only hurt. What was he supposed to do? Give up and cry? No, he couldn't really show those tears yet, it had been over two years after all. Crying over an old childhood friend would only be weird, right?

"Haha.." Neji laughed and tried to pull the fabric away from his face. "Shouldn't you be sleeping in your bed instead? If you sleep out here you might catch a cold..."

Naruto grunted and made sure to wipe away his half dried tears before removing the blanket and sticking his tongue out to his friend. Then he smiled too and rubbed his eyes, in what he understood from Neji's face, was a very cute way. He shook his head and nudged Neji's side, not really knowing what to say. There had not been anyone sleeping over since Sasuke and that was over two years ago, and Naruto had now realized how late it was... it was pretty embarrassing to know he had not yet told Neji he didn't have a spare madras.

"well... ehm..." he begun, figuring it was about time he told Neji so that the man could choose to refuse before it got all to late. "The thing is... I don't have "sleep overs" that often and I really do not own another madras..."

"Well that's fine" The older man smiled and ruffled Naruto's hair gently. "I can sleep out here... or we can share your bed if that is not too much trouble."

"Of course it would be okay if you wanted to share my bed…" Naruto half blushed and sighed with relief as Neji looked slightly embarrassed himself. "I mean, it is twice as big as I regular bed…" he then added quickly just to make sure Neji didn't think his was insinuating anything and the older man nodded with that soft smile of his, calming Naruto's nerves immediately. Somehow he had forgotten how close he and Neji had used to be before all this happened. Maybe this was a real good thing, Neji's divorce, their boys being best friends. It made Naruto pretty calm and warm inside to know that no matter what happened, Neji would always be there, that was just the kind of person he was.

"You know…" Neji smiled and stood up, reaching his hand out to help his younger friend up from the comfortable sofa. "..I've seen your bed before."

"Oh don't make fun of me not being used to having people sleeping over…" Naruto blushed and once more stuck his tongue out, though taking his friend's hand gently, standing up on tired, and slightly trembling legs. Damn, he really needed to get his act together, eat and sleep properly too. "…maybe I should learn from this and just get a spare madras"

"Haha that sounds like an awful idea" Neji laughed and softly reached out to put his arm around Naruto's young shoulders, pulling him pretty close before starting to walk towards the bedroom with him. "But what about Haku-chan? Won't she be pretty jealous if he finds out about me taking her place in the bed?"

Naruto felt himself smile; not getting at all how Neji could have fallen so easily for the lie he and Haku had played out. Really, for Naruto it just felt weird to even think about having a girlfriend in his life. Why would he? He had never truly been in love with a girl, and since Haku was a male, it made everything so much more laughable. Naruto could not hold himself from reaching up to touch his own lips though as he remembered the kiss Haku had given him before taking of that day… Could it really be that Haku liked him in a romantic way? Or was it just because he had found the idea fun? It was true Naruto hardly knew his baby sitter but, Naruto always knew when someone liked him in that way, he always felt it… kind of.

"_I love you…"_

He sighed and scratched his temples as Sasuke's words from the dream popped up in his mind like a bunch of sharp knives, slitting his fragile skin to the bone. Sasuke had been his friend for as long as he could remember really, and yes they had been fighting like a married couple sometimes, most of the time maybe… But there was no way Sasuke had wanted him in the same way as Naruto had craved for him. Sure, yes, fine they had been intimate and… done things together that you might not do with your best friend in a healthy "best friend-relationship" but… No, Uchiha Sasuke had never felt that way, defiantly not… So why did he still wish to hear those words? Just once…

"Naruto?" came Neji's questioning voice and the blond quickly snapped out of his momentary blackout with a _"hugh"_ sound. Neji laughed and pushed him a little, but quite hard in the side to get him to sit down on the bedside while the older one looked through his bag for his tooth brush. "I asked you whether or not you think Haku-chan will be upset about us sleeping together…?"

"It's not like we'll be intimate…" Naruto half chuckled, once again reaching up to touch his lips. Haku had been a surprisingly fierce kisser. "And besides… what Haku doesn't know doesn't hurt her, right?"

At this Neji only chuckled and nodded, and it sure was true, in both ways. Hating to lie to people however, Naruto felt totally messed up from lying even more to Neji than he already had. Though he was actually planning to tell Neji sometime, about the truth behind Haku's gender, he was only doing this to be able to see the priceless look on the older one's face. So he chuckled as well and stretched out on the bed on his back like a sleepy kitten.

"Nyaaa…" he yawned and pulled a little at the covers, not really thinking about how he would look in Neji's eyes. The older one, who had just found his tooth brush, now looked up and was dumbstruck with the way the blond one was looking. Really, he was hot even though Naruto was hardly aware of his own sex-appeal. "I'm beat… do I really need to go get ready for bed? Can't I just… undress and fall asleep?"

At those works Neji cleared his dry throat and blinked to be able to both look away from the man on the bed and get the pictures of a naked Naruto out of his mind."You do that…" he then managed to say before walking out the bedroom door. "I'll be right back…"

As the bathroom door closed behind his back, Neji sighed and leaned against it, his heart pounding furiously as he closed his eyes. This was not really a good thing, and he could feel it in every fiber of his body. If one thing, he knew that being in love or even sexually attracted to a childhood friend, and a man on top of that was not really something that the blond would find flattering if he was to find out... They had known each other all the way through school and even though Neji had always seen how close Sasuke and Naruto had been, his own feelings had always kind of lingered at the pit of his stomach, that they were to blossom now was really not okay! He was going through a divorce and apparently Naruto already had a girlfriend... there was no way he would want Neji then, right?

He slowly pulled himself together and walked over to the mirror, trying not to watch his pale complexion and brushed his teeth in silent thought. Really, he couldn't stand the way he looked right now. He and Sasuke had spoken some years ago, before he left that was, and they had talked about what type of girls Naruto would prefer. He could to this day not really remember how on earth they started that conversation but it had ended with Sasuke half strangling Neji with his own hair, saying something like "oh come on Neji! Admit it! You're in love with the guy!" And it was about then... that Neji had fully understood the range of his feelings towards the blonde.

His sighed and left the toothbrush on the side of the sink before walking back to the bedroom, only to find Naruto's slimed body all curled up under the covers and he smiled at the sight. Even though the boy was already turning twenty-one this year, in Neji's eyes he would always be that clumsy, class clown he used to be back at the academy; always smiling bright in the afternoons, grumpy in the mornings, stealing snacks from both Neji and Sasuke and always falling for their practical jokes.

Neji stepped into the room and looked around in the gloom. There were pictures of both Naruto and Tsuki along the walls and drawings all over the place that Tsuki had made for his dad. They all put a gentle smile over Neji's lips as he realized that soon his own son would be like this, he was still a little too young... He smiled as he watched those soft black locks surrounding Tsuki's soft cheeks and black-blue eyes.

"I guess you were right all along Sasuke..." he sighed and looked back towards the sleeping blonde on the bed. "His type has always been the dark and mysterious ones..."

"mn..?" Naruto sounded and looked up a little from his pillow. "Did ya say something sempai...?"

Neji just chuckled and shook his head before crawling into the bed as well. "nah" he then answered and crawled under the blanket as well, sighing with content. "I was just mumbling..."

"Like you always do..." Naruto smiled and since he was more than half asleep he didn't really care at all what he did, so he turned away from Neji and curled his back up against the older man's torso. "G'night Sepmai..."

Neji was once again dumbstruck by the other's behavior but he couldn't really push him away now that he felt the boy relaxing and he sighed as he realized that fact. Naruto sure was cute, and he must be used to sleeping with another person, maybe he couldn't sleep peacefully if he wasn't close to someone else? So what could he really do? Except pulling his arms around Naruto's slimmed torso, burying his face in those soft blond curls, pulling in that sweet smell that was only Naruto's.

'Damn it...' he thought and closed his eyes hard as the other one sighed in content and came even closer. 'Why do I have to have these feelings...? I bet I'm only sexually frustrated for being with a woman for all this time...'

***

Naruto felt his fingers trembling as he poured the boiling water over the tealeaves, and he had to be careful so that he didn't get burnt again. He had put some cupcakes in the microwave and there were scones baking in the oven. Really, what was he supposed to do if he woke up in the early morning and had nothing at all to do after making the dishes?

He sighed and looked into the oven, they were not done in a million years and since his fingers were shaking so hard he couldn't do anything else than just stand there. He hated it when he woke up shaking like this, because he could not control his own body and once he was close to dropping the tea pot on his son, which frightened him to bits since it was pretty heavy and could easily crush a scull like Tsuki's.

Suddenly there was a subtle knock on the front door and Naruto almost dropped the cake he was holding, looking towards the hallway in slight shock. Who the hell would come knocking at his door at six o'clock in the morning? A sails-man? Someone that was lost? Maybe that old lady that always forgot where she lived...? But she would use the doorbell... this was someone that not wanted to wake anyone up..? Then, did the person know Naruto was already awake?

Too innocently curious, Naruto tiptoed over to the door and took a deep breath before he leaned against the wood. "Who is it...?" He said loudly enough to make the other person hear him out there but in such a low voice, he would not wake the kids or his sempai. He waited with his heart beating wild in his chest before the reply suddenly came, smashing every bult up wall Naruto had ever had in his heart.

"it's me... Naruto..."

At the very moment that voice spoke his name, Naruto could almost feel his heart stop and his breathing as well. He could feel the life leave him as if though he was a bird crashing straight into the glass of a window... Sasuke? That was Sasuke's voice... right? It could be no other.. How he had wished to hear that voice again, how he had dreamed of it for so long.. there was no way this voice could belong to any one else than Uchiha Sasuke!

"S-asuke..?" came his lame answer but it was not strong enough to reach through the thick door. Was this real? Was he back? Why? And Why now? Was it really only the wood of a door that was the only thing parting them? Was this... rally...for real?

"Please Naruto..." came that voice again and once more, Naruto was convinced. There was no question about it now. This was the father of the boy sleeping in the room next to his, this was his childhood friend, the one Naruto had loved all these years... the person that caused him the most pain and happiness he had ever tasted in his life. "...can you open the door..?"

Oh it took so many seconds for Naruto to even realize what those words had meant and when he finally realized he was so scared Sasuke had already left that he fumbled like crazy with the lock to be able to get the door open. He hated this trembling now more than ever as he tried to get them to work when the fingertips only trembled like hell.

"Damn..." he panted and realized at a split second that he was really breathing again before losing his breath once more as the door swung open into the darkness of the stairway. And really, there he was, standing in the darkness, dressed in a long black coat and his pale skin making him look frightfully pale, almost like a vampire. Naruto had no idea why he was even thinking about that but as soon as his eyes met Sasuke's... he was lost in them.

"Naruto..."

He couldn't breath, he couldn't speak, he felt his feet move away from the man in front of him, giving him room to enter the apartment without a word. He was so confused, so scared. This wasn't happening right? He couldn't just come back like this all of a sudden? Not now that Naruto had finally started to move on from those hurt feelings of despair. And if he was really back... why at this time? Why was he... here? And not at his old place or at Tsunade's place..?

The man walked inside, not letting go of Naruto's gaze for a second even though the blonde was almost crying by now. There were so many questions he couldn't even begin to ask them all at once. But before he even had time to start organizing them in his mind, Sasuke spoke again.

"It's been so long.." he almost whispered and even though Naruto could not take his eyes off of that well known face, he noticed Sasuke's posterior was different from what it had once been... not at all that "I stick my hands into my pockets and pretend I'm not looking" kind of posterior and he was not standing strong... was he tried? Where had he been all these years and why did he look as if though he had been running for eternity to get here..? Naruto could not stop his mind or his thoughts that threatened to make his mind explode with painful confusion. Sasuke's eyes were burning, just as intense as they had always been, almost the only thing on the man that had not changed.

"You grew your hair longer..." The dark one said, almost as if he was trying to start a conversation or at least get Naruto to react but the blond could do nothing but let his tears fall now. He wanted to scream and hit, curse and spit at the man in front of him. He wanted to hurt him, make him cry and beg..! But instead he himself was the one crying... to him, Sasuke didn't even look sad over the years they had lost.... he didn't look sad at all when he said those words. _"It's been so long.."_ Yeah... two years... Two fucking years that had crushed Naruto to bits and on top of that... Tsuki. Had Sasuke even thought about him? Had Sasuke come for him now, to take him from Naruto and raise him himself? Or had this man.. forgotten about his only child..? Was there even a guarantee that there weren't other children Sasuke had "produced"?

"Naruto..." the man started again as those burning tears left the blond man's sky-blue eyes. "..I... I got you message..."

At this, Naruto could feel his eyes widen and his hands tightening into fists, slightly confused. What message? There had been so many text messages and calls to "the number you have dialed is out of range" that he had lost count. Why would the message last night have meant anything more to Sasuke than a bag of dirty socks? Naruto had thrown his life away gladly for Sasuke's son, he had done everything and lied to everyone to make sure there were no bad rumors about Uchiha Sasuke and what did he do in return? Well, showing up unannounced in the early morning was REALLY going to make everything up to him... Naruto wanted to scream this and shut the door in Sasuke's face but.... he couldn't.

"Please... Say something Naruto..." the taller one whispered, his slender fingers slowly reaching out as if to touch Naruto's blond locks and the boy twitched his eyes away, moving even further away from him. What was he supposed to say at a moment like this? Sasuke sighed deeply and before Naruto even opened his mouth he spoke once more. "...I... missed you so much..."

Naruto looked up to meet those eyes again, not believing at all in those words that he had wished to hear for so long. If Sasuke had missed him, why hadn't he called or come to visit? Was it that hard to see his son? Or was it something about Naruto that he couldn't stand? Why had he left him with so many unanswered questions for all these years and... now, coming back asking for them to speak as if though nothing had happened. Had this not affected Sasuke at all?! Had he not been tormented even the slightest? Had he been able to sleep soundly every night without even thinking for a moment about the fact that Naruto could not sleep alone? Or had he too been crying himself to sleep while hugging a pillow tightly..? If so, how could he just stand there now... so close and yet not grab him and hug him tightly, say how sorry he was for all this... at least try to apologize...? What was stopping him? Naruto had looked away from him so many times before... why was this any different..?

"Naruto... please..." Sasuke said once more, his voice shrinking in power as if he was starting to understand what a terrible mistake it was for him to come here. "Just a sentence... anything?"

"I want you to get out."

* * *

**OMG WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!?! **

**oh... my hand slipped 8D and I accidental made a "page break" so this is where the chappie ends ;)**

**so let's sum this up :O **

**Naruto told a bedtime story to Tsuki, Aiji and Neji - making them all fall asleep  
**

**Naruto had a flashback of how he and Sasuke used to drink tea and... how Sasuke used to tickle him**

**Naji saw Naruto cry and they then decided to watch a movie - Sasuke's favourite! Which one was it again? 8D**

**Naruto had a tormenting but sweet dream about how Sasuke woke him up in the sofa and said I love you :( **

**Neji woke him up instead :/**

**then Neji was hard on Naruto?! and they shared the same bed (aww how cute?) **

**Naruto woke up early and... and.. **

**AHHHHH?! SASUKE CAME BACK?!?!**

**;)  
**


	4. my lips

**Hi again my friends!  
**

**Oh God I am bad at posting here! And I'm sorry for that but I can at least blame it on Christmas, new years and start of school this time right! :O I've been pretty busy but the hardest part was that I had this chapter done in my mind for quite some time I just didn't get the time to write it all down :( **

**I am sorry though that this chapie might be a bit confusing ;__; so I thought I'd brief you a little about what happened last time :D Well, Neji and Aiji-chan is spending some time with Naruto and Tsu-chan (and for all you who wonder, and think that tsuki is pretty grown up to be a two-three year old? Well he is basted entirely on my own little brother so XD most of what he says is true words spoken by a two and a half year old XD) anyways... right, at the end of last chapter Sasuke turned up OMG and accordning to me, Naruto freaked a little toooo much and told him to get out ;) **

**Disclaimer: ....I won't say it ;___; I WON'T!! ...................................okay okay.... I don't... -sobs- own... Naruto... -sobs- please give me cookies? ;___;  
**

**Warning!: YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED!! O___O you are about to read a story about a guy who is in love with another man!!! O___O and GOD we love it -droooooools- so please.... grawr.... keep reading if you like ;)  
**

**enjoy!  
**

* * *

Sasuke's eyes widened and Naruto met them with force in his blue orbs as he finally took one step closer to the dark haired man in front of him. What he was going to say was not certain, but the words would come, his was sure of it. He watched the taller man, those dark eyes that he had once gazed into with longing, those lips that had told him such sweet words and the fingers who had used to tickle him to madness. That was all in the passed. It had been so long and even though the only thing Naruto wanted was to throw himself at Sasuke, he tightened his fists even harder against his sides.

"You heard me..." he repeated and saw how Sasuke's lips twitched by the harsh tone in his voice. "I want you to get out... now"

"Naruto..." Sasuke said again, it must be the hundred time and the blond was getting tired of his own name. Wasn't there anything else the dark one could say? Repeating his name over and over wouldn't really help, if that was what he thought. "Can't we at least talk about this..?"

"What is there to talk about?!" Naruto snapped and his nails burned into the skin of his palms. "What is there to solve?! You left, two years ago you left! One day we were laughing and joking around and the next you were gone! You were never coming back, that was obvious to me, no matter how many times I tried to tell myself you might come back one day! You're already dead to me!"

The words sliced the air as if being supported by the blade of a samurai and Sasuke backed one step with pain rushing quickly through his eyes. Naruto could not believe what he had just said, what his body had made him do, but he knew, some part of him must think these words were true. He panted and cursed on the inside as he felt his eyes burn with tears that threatened to break his facade. Why did he have to show up here now of all times?! Why not half a year earlier?! When Naruto had seriously thought about taking his life because of all this, when Tsuki had been in the hospital and when those men wouldn't stop harassing him, day and night?!

"There is nothing you can say!" He then continued even though he felt his own heart break as it pounded even harder against his ribcage. "You can't just come back here two years later and expect me to stand here with open arms and forgive you for all that you have done to me!" He had to stop and breath, seeing how Sasuke was trying to form words or at least something to say but Naruto knew, that if Sasuke spoke he would lose it and throw himself at the man. If to beat the crap out of him or kiss him he did not really know, but he couldn't take that risk so he spoke again. "Do you have ANY idea of what I have had to go through because of you?! Do you have the slightest understanding that I can never trust you again after you left me drowning in YOUR crap?! If you seriously think that I can ever have you as my friend again you are gravely mistaken Uchiha Sasuke! Because... Because you left me just like every one else! And you promised me... that... that you'd always be there...."

His anger drained away as his boiling hot tears fell down his cheeks, his eyes looking up at the older man with his lips shaking. Why did he do this? Didn't he understand at all... how much this hurt? The words he had shouted burned still in his own ears, making him curse at himself. Why did those words hit Sasuke in the face when what he really wanted to do was to be close to him again, like it used to be...

"I..." Sasuke started but Naruto shook his head and turned his eyes down to the floor.

"Don't. Don't even bother Sasuke..." he half whispered and sighed deeply. "I don't want to know... Where you've been, what you've done, who you've been with... I don't want to hear it..." His body was filling up with snow and winter as he watched the small drops of tears at the floor. "...to me, you haven't come back, so you go again... and just pretend... tat this never happened, that you never saw me Sasuke..."

"What if that's not how I want it to be...?" The dark haired one said with that smooth voice of his and Naruto hated himself as his heart trembled, at the edge of falling into a million pieces. "What if I'm here to stay this time... Naruto?"

Naruto gasped almost soundlessly as he felt Sasuke's slender fingertips gently reach out and touch his cheek. It was a strange thing, how those fingers could feel just as they used to, even though it had been so unbelievable long since Naruto had felt them against his skin. That well-known warmth had already started to spread through his abdomen and through his chest when Naruto realized how close Sasuke suddenly was standing. Those almost black orbs met Naruto's blue ones and the blond could feel his tears burn more as he looked up into them, drowning as Sasuke's strong arms wrapped themselves around Naruto's slimmed waist.

_'Damn...' _he thought, feeling his heart flutter and heal even though he knew it would only suffer more when these strong arms let him go, let him fall once more._ '...and here I thought I was over him... I'm so stupid...'_

"Naruto..." Sasuke half whispered and since the blond could not even speak any more, he only nodded, closing his eyes in fright and longing as Sasuke came closer with his entire body. "..I'm so sorry... for everything... and I want to make it up to you..."

"You can't..." Naruto heard himself say even though both his body and mind wanted him back, wanted those lips pressed against his, wanted that body even tighter than this... yet his voice was clear and his eyes opened along with his words, seeing in those dark eyes how Sasuke's darkest fears were coming true before him. "You can never make it up to me... so leave... before anyone wakes up and finds out you're here..."

"Anyone...?" Sasuke repeated and didn't let go, almost as if he thought he could still convince Naruto to forgive him by holding him close long enough.

"Yes..." the blond nodded and gently pushed at Sasuke's strong chest to get him to let go. "I don't want Neji waking up and finding us like this..."

"Neji? You and him...?"

"What does that concern you?" Naruto sighed as he finally managed to push away from the taller man and meet his eyes. He knew that his voice was trembling and that his eyes were still filled with tears, but he also knew that what had once been could never be again, no matter how painful it was to realize something like that. "Please leave... I won't let you screw my life up again..."

"Naruto..."

"No Sasuke. You won't be able to do that any more" Naruto said, his mind was made up. "I want you out of here, I want you to leave, I never want to..."

Those lips were so gentle, so warm, sending shivers down Naruto's trembling body, following his spine as Sasuke suddenly locked their lips together. The blond felt his eyes shut to the hot sensation even though he had told himself that he would never give in to this temptation... His lips were trembling just as much as his body, pressing gently back at Sasuke's, feeling the other's hot tongue gently ravish his bottom lip as it all went black.

_'Damn...'_ he though once more as a warm, genuine feeling made his mind go berserk. '_Why do you do this to me Sasuke...'_

***

He blinked slowly and then quickly opened his eyes and sat up immediately as he realized he was lying in his bed. Neji was lying right next to him, sleeping soundly and the time showed half passed seven in the morning. Naruto groaned and rubbed his temples, trying to remember what it was that he had dreamt about as a heavy headache spread through his entire forehead. What was that again? Sasuke had come back and.. He sighed deeply and stood up on shaky legs, feeling his hands tremble as he pulled on his morning robe.

"A dream again..." he whispered and softly stroke Neji's soft locks with a gentle smile twitching at the side of his lips. "I always dream that he kisses me... even though I will never feel it for real... what am I waiting for Sempai..?"

As expected, Neji neither woke up or moved and Naruto only smiled wider as he left the room. Really, why did he do this to himself? Of course there would be other people willing to be with him as long as he just let that damn player go and moved on. But moving his mind away from those dark, mysterious eyes was so much harder than he could have ever imagined and of course... he had never thought that he would ever loose Sasuke.... the thought had not even crossed his mind once before it happened. And that might be the reason for his confusion too... How could he not have known that Sasuke was expecting a child together with a woman? How could he have missed the fact that his best friend was moving...?

He shook his head quickly and started making tea while trying to think of something else. Those thoughts were always the thoughts that got him down into the twirling spiral that was depression. He could not get Sasuke of his mind no matter how hard he tried and still, somewhere in the back of his head he knew that he really did not even want to. Who would ever want to forget the happiest time of ones life? Even though it always caused him pain to think about how much he missed that man, how much he truly wanted him to come knocking at his door, knowing that he never would, he could not get the hurting thoughts off of his mind.

The boiling water from the boiler gave him other thoughts as he hissed when it burned his fingers on it. Really, he should work on the fact that he always spaced out like this. He needed distraction from those hard thoughts, and not the kind of distraction that got his fingers burned. But he smiled a little while he let the cold water flow over his fingers in the sink... He had so many friends and the best son ever, Neji was the sweetest sempai and all the girls were so kind to him, why was he complaining? Sure, the love of his life and best friend had taken off without even telling him so before it was to late and his economy was not he best but... he was happy, right?

"Get yourself together Uzumaki Naruto" he said to himself, starting to take out ingredients for scones, smiling as he remembered his dream. "...you'll pull through... I just know it"

He was slow in his baking but he didn't really think twice about either time nor dough. Trying not to think at all about his dream anymore he tried to think out what they would do the weekend after and what kindergarten he'd put Tsuki in. It was amusing to think of how the boy would run around and own everyone, earn the girls' hearts and the boys' fury, just like Tsuki's father had done in that age. Really, he looked a lot like Sasuke but somehow that did not worry Naruto. He knew that his friends would never suspect him of lying about something like this and even though someone suspected that Sasuke was truly the father of Tsuki, Naruto could just deny it, which would be easy since his friends were pretty stupid, at least stupid enough to consider Naruto an idiot.

When the scones where baking in the oven though, he found himself once more wishing slightly to hear a knock on the door or the doorbell ringing. His dreams had never been answered or happened in real life but somehow, this time he really.... truly... found himself wishing, that just for one more time, he would get to hear that voice which brought his skin to tingle. He could not help himself but hope, even though he had, just moments ago, told himself that hoping was for losers. There was no way Sasuke would come back after all this time... why would he? If it had been so easy for him to leave Naruto the first time, why would he come back to s certain death? Yeah, if Naruto ever got his hands on that man again he swore he would k-...

A sudden sound from the hallway made him twitch and before he had time to see reason, his legs had already brought him there, as if there was a fire and he had to get out. But the only thing that met his pounding heart was the daily newspaper and a letter... He could even hear the steps of the postman disappearing down the stairs and the neighbors dog barking after him.

_'See Naruto... you fool...'_ he thought as a smile tugged at his lips when he backed into the wall, at the spot where Sasuke had had him cornered in the bliss of his dream._ '...this is what you get for being a stupid, blown up, self-absorbed...idiotic bastard...' _he shook his head slowly as he felt his eyes burn with pure fury over his own stupidity, or was that tears lurking at the sides of his orbs..? No, he was mad, angry and frustrated with himself. How could he have been so stupid once more? Believing that just because he had a dream about the guy he would come back as if he had heard his prayers? Sasuke wasn't God, and even if he was, he would do just as God and never answer by coming down personally...

He looked down at the letter which was placed neatly on top of the newspaper and sighed as he saw the clear white paper of the bill-envelope. This month would be hard, he had almost no money left since he had to stay home with Tsuki so often... He shook his head and left for the kitchen again, to make sure his scones were not burned already. He could not help but sigh again as he took them out, breathing in the sweet scent and smiling halfheartedly, trying to be happy over the fact that he was holding his own creations... oh sure, as if it was a baby or something. Right now he just felt like smashing the whole thing into the wall and burst into a scream that would wake the entire house.

"Naruto...?"

He looked up in shock from where he was standing in the middle of the room, covered in flour with the baking pan in his hands and with his hair all ruffled (also filled with flour as he had pulled his fingers through his hair). Neji was standing in the doorway, looking sleepy but now smiling gently as he saw his old friend standing there all white and pretty. He shook his head a little and walked into the room, reaching out and brushing some flour off of the blond man's cheek, then his nose, gently.

"I didn't think you'd be up" he smiled and Naruto felt himself blush as he realized how he must look, being covered in all the dusty white. "Good morning, Naruto"

"Good morning Sempai" he smiled as answer and realized to his own delight that the hurt feelings at the pit of his stomach as actually softening when ever Neji was around. He chuckled a little and put the bred down while sighing with content. "Well I couldn't sleep no more so I just... thought I'd bake something nice for breakfast... does little Aiji like scones?"

"you don't need to worry so much Naruto" Neji chuckled and pushed him a little in the side to make him move. "Aiji eats almost anything, except for green beans..." At the last, the older man smiled and nudged Naruto in the side once more. "Now move over and let me do this, you go and have a shower, cause frankly, you look like a snowman"

Naruto laughed slightly and nodded while taking of his apron, brushing it of over the sink just to not spill flour all over the floors. Neji started to separate the bred with a soft smile playing over his lips and Naruto found the environment strangely peaceful. He and Neji should really spend more time together, being alone with him was a lot more different than when he used to be with both him and Sasuke. He was so much calmer now, almost like Sasuke had used to be when they were alone. Naruto liked it, the feeling of being a bit taken care of...

"I'll go shower then" he smiled and Neji nodded while looking back at him.

"Should I pop some cupcakes into the microwave?" He asked and Naruto flash-backed once more on his dream but only smiled and nodded. He knew Tsuki would prefer cupcakes over scones but if they didn't tell the boy they might be able to fool him into eating at least one scone before the cupcakes were served. "I'll do so then" Neji smiled and continued to cut the bred as Naruto went to the bathroom, undressing on his way there already, feeling itchy with all the flour covering him.

The bathroom floor was cold against his tired feet and he shivered a little as he let the fabric covering him slide down to touch it. He knew all too well how cold the shower water would be at first and he did not look forward to stepping in under the beam of water now cascading out of the shower-head as he twisted the knob.... but neither did he find the thought of standing on the cold bathroom floor all naked any better so after just some seconds waiting he stepped into the shower anyway, shivering and whimpering slightly as he was drenched from head to toe.

-

"_oi Naruto...?" _

"_Yeah what is it?" _

"_Why are you in here? I told you I was gonna take a shower stupid!" _

"_Haha why are you so embarrassed all of a sudden? It's not like I haven't seen you naked before... besides, you still haven't taken more than your sweater of, what's the big deal?" _

"_oh come on! You couldn't know that when you opened the door!"_

"_Still Sasuke, what's the big deal? I would have caught you naked, so what..? I've caught you doing worse than being just naked..." _

"_Asshole..." _

"_Yeah, I agree that you are..." _

"_..." _

"_Anyway, I just cam to tell you that the water is almost always cold in the start, so if you turn it on right now before you undress, you might still be able to use your dick after showering, otherwise it'll freeze"_

"_Haha... I see you're talking from personal experience Naruto?" _

"_I never said I did, heh, but Kiba once came out whining about it so I thought I'd warn you" _

"_How kind of you to walk in on me just to tell me that" _

"_Aren't I a catch, haha" _

"_Nah, not my type" _

"_Oh shut up Sasuke!"_

"_Ouch! You don't need to hit me weirdo!"_

"_You deserved it, now strip and be done with it" _

"_Haha then be out of here stupid" _

"_Yeah yeah"_

-

"Damn that asshole..."

He dried his hair of quickly and walked out of the now steaming bathroom and over to his bedroom, pulling on a pair of used blue jeans and a white T-shirt, which he suspected had once belonged to Sasuke but he didn't care much, it was at least comfortable. When he walked out of the room again, Tsuki came running at him and he caught the boy, lifting him high over his head and smiling as the little one laughed. He really was the sweetest boy on the planet, at least now before he turned into a grumpy teen.

"How is it going Neji?" he then smiled as Aiji poked his head out from the kitchen and only seconds later Neji poked his head out as well.

"Oh you done?" he smiled and then poked Tsuki's nose as both father and son came into the kitchen to join Neji and his little boy. "It's going fine, didn't know that you had already warmed up some cupcakes though."

"I had?" Naruto asked, now confused. He must have been really out of it if he had not even noticed that he popped them into the microwave, and it wasn't as if he had heard them being done either. He scratched his hair a little. "I guess I just forgot about it..."

"Yeah..." Neji nodded and smiled down into the tea, smelling it, kind of preoccupade with getting it to the right color, Neji being crazy about tea. "They were in the microwave still so I guess you did, they were pretty cold though so I just thought you did it before you started with the scones."

"I don't... think I did" Naruto mumbled as he walked over to the cupcakes, seeing how Neji had tried his best to put toppings on them. "What I can remember I just went up and made tea, then I started making scones... and then the mailman came, that's all" He chuckled, almost a little creped out, how could he have forgotten about it? Had he really been that out of it? Of course it was normal to space out a little from time to time, maybe burn fingers on the tea or something just because you're out of it but... forget pretty important things (and don't forget that cupcakes are one of the most important things in life!).

"Well they were not frozen at least" Neji smiled and looked over at him. "you didn't put them in there over night then? For some reason... I mean, you were pretty tired yesterday, right?" Naruto looked up and smiled a little. He had no memory of that either but maybe he had. That would at least explain why they were not warm but still not frozen, and he did not care to look if there was any water in the microwave, this a good enough explanation.

"Daddy, daddy, daddy!" Tsuki called from somewhere by his elbow and Naruto turned, just in time to see that the boy had pulled out a chair and was now climbing up on it so that he could reach the cupcakes. "I want one!"

Neji only laughed at this, since his boy was a bit too young to be able to pull out chairs and move them around, but Naruto, who by now was used to it only lifted his boy off of the chair and put the chair back by the table.

"You'll get one after you've eaten one of the scones" he smiled and shook his head as Tsuki made his largest puppy eyes. "Those eyes won't work on me Tsu, you know that, if I say you eat some bred first you'll have to do that... otherwise you'll just get hungry you know"

"But I wan one!"

Naruto only smiled and ruffled the boy's black curls, standing up straight and walking over to Neji who was now satisfied with his tea and about to put it all on the table. "Do you really think the scones will be enough for all of us?" Naruto asked with a wrinkle on his forehead. "I only did half a recipe cause we didn't have all the ingredients I thought we did... weird enough, cause I thought I had bought more"

"Yeah it'll be enough" Neji laughed and turned around to hug his friend, which came as a slight shock for the blond but then he hugged back. "Are you starting to get senile Naruto?" he laughed and then smiled over his friend's shoulder. "don't forget that you have scones in the fridge as well."

"I do...?"

this was news for Naruto. When he was alone with Tsuki, he would only make half of what it says in the recipe and they would both eat it all together, there had never been anything over to put in the fridge... so when the hell...? how long had that been lying in there? It must have molded by now at least and he laughed at Neji.

"I don't have any in the fridge, you must have just seen something else and thought it was scones" he smiled and poked Neji's nose gently. "Besides, if it was scones I would have remembered when I put them in there..."

"Well, I am not stupid if that's what you think" Neji said while wrinkling his eyebrows as if trying to remember what exactly it was he had seen in there. "There was a see-through plastic bag with a knot on it and inside there was two pieces, as if you put them in when they were done... I mean, no one had parted them or anything, they were whole."

Naruto smiled and shook his head. "You've been dreaming Neji" he smiled and shook his head, walking towards the fridge. "I never put anything in plastic bags, the only ones who do that is you and Sasuke..."

"Well they WERE in a see-though plastic bag" Neji half whined and walked quicker to the fridge, opening the door and looking around for a while, Naruto watching him with an amused smirk on his lips. "I'm telling you, they WERE."

"Yeah yeah" Naruto laughed and leaned against the sink instead, taking a piece of bred as he watched his friend look desperately for the lost plastic bag. "In your dreams Neji, I never p-..."

He was silenced as Neji turned back to him, holding a perfectly knotted, see-through plastic bag with two whole, unbroken scones in it. He could feel his blue eyes widen as he watched the bag, seeing the slight steam marking the corners of the bag, which proved that they had been put into the cold when they were still warm... Naruto never did that, he always waited until the food had cooled down before putting it into the fridge, just so that the electricity bill shouldn't be to high, it took a lot more energy to cool down something if it was too hot when you put it into the cold. Naruto was so shocked he didn't even realize that eh had dropped the piece of bred he had been eating of...

Wait.

One moment.

Hold it...

**Rewind:**

_Naruto felt his fingers trembling as he poured the boiling water over the tealeaves, and he had to be careful so that he didn't get burnt again. He had put some cupcakes in the microwave and there were scones baking in the oven. Really, what was he supposed to do if he woke up in the early morning and had nothing at all to do after making the dishes?_

_Suddenly there was a subtle knock on the front door and Naruto almost dropped the cake he was holding, looking towards the hallway in slight shock. Who the hell would come knocking at his door at six o'clock in the morning? _

"_It's me... Naruto"_

Naruto's eyes widened now to the point where he could not even focus his gaze any more. His eyes darted away to the cleaned dishes which he had NOT made either last night or since he woke up. The table was cleaned, the stove was wiped... He looked back again at the bag Neji had put down on the counter, Neji not at all noticing what Naruto was doing since he was busy with making breakfast.... He reached out for it, looking at the bags, then pulled out one of the drawers he never used and saw the plastic-bag box which he had gotten from Sasuke so long ago, but never even opened it. Now, it was open, as it had never been before.

"It wasn't a dream..." He whispered in a half gasp, his hand slowly reaching up to cover his lips, stopping as they reached the soft surface of them, tears already leaving his eyes. "he was here... it wasn't a dream...."

"How was here?" Neji smiled and turned back to his friend, only to see Naruto sink to his knees on the floor, trembling hard with tears rolling down to hit the floor without a sound. "Naruto..? What's wrong..?!"

"Daddy!"

Naruto looked up with his tears making his vision blurry, his little boy darting into his torso and Neji holding him right. He felt those strong arms around him and even though he did not want to wish... he wished... that those arms would be his... More tears came rolling down his already damp cheeks as he buried his eyes into Tsuki's black locks, trembling and unable to speak.

_'He was here...' _he thought as his tears hit the black curls under his chin. _'...he really came back here... ' _He gripped tighter around the fabric of Tsuki's sweater and felt the urge to scream at the top of his lungs. _'...but I pushed him away... I made him leave... I made him go again...' _

"Naruto..." Neji whispered and held him tighter to his own chest, feeling his heart break as he saw his so very dear friend like this. "What happened...?"

"Sasuke was here..." Naruto answered with a voice that did not even sound like his own, tears still falling as he looked up at Neji's chocked face. "and he...." _'...kissed me...' _

"He what Naruto?" Neji said, now looking pretty upset. It did not feel as if Naruto was joking but it couldn't be true. Sasuke couldn't have come back, right? He would have heard, right? And as he watched his friend he was more and more convinced... there was something wrong with the boy in his arms. He couldn't keep living alone like this, he would go crazy with all the responsibility and the hurt... "Naruto..." he sighed softly and pulled him close once more. "I'll be okay now, he won't hurt you any more..."

_'..he kissed me...' _

* * *

**okay, I know last time I was mean and just ended the chapter ;__; sorry about that **

**hope this ending was better? haha **

**just to explain; **

**yes, Naruto thought the whole thing with Sasuke coming back was just a dream, BUT it clearly was not since Sasuke had been so kind to put the scones into the plasticbag when Naruto fainted (or what ever the hell he ded ._. ) hope you understood even though frankly I can understand if you did not. **

**But WHAT THE HELL did neji mean about there being something wrong with Naruto?! :O and what does he plan to do about it? :O he said it was not good for Naru-chan to be alone? well, it's not good for anyone to be alone I guess but... what about Tsuki? and WHY was Sasuke REALLY there?! did he really read that ONE mesage Naruto sent him? doesn't that sound a little fishy? after ALL texts Naruto sends him, only ONE makes him come back to see him? And what will Naruto do now that he knows Sasuke has been or still IS in Konoha village?! :O **

**find out in next chapie ;) **

**and remember :O please review and give me feedback! otehrwise I won't know what you want to read about or where I'm comfusing you ;___; **

**and thanks again to all of you who have already given me wonderful reviews! I hope to hear more from you again! **

**ps. I always answer my reviews ;) just so ya know ds.  
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	5. my rage

**Hi everyone! OMG I'M SO SO SO SORRY GUYS! **

**Actually, the story disappeared (Y) Yeah. you might not believe me, but it's true. You see. I have one computer at home and one at school. I loke to write at the one in school because it's better and all, so I usually bring my computer home from school and aparently that was what I had done, months ago... **

**I looked though my computer at home at least fifty times but only found an old version (where I had written only four pages of chapter 5) and I knew I har written at least three more pages in another document! But My computer at school has been out of it and the times I used it I had so much work to do (since I graduate in only a week.. ._. yikes) but now FINALY! I FOUND IT! And I wrote the fith chapter as soon as I did! So here you are! **

**I hope you guys are still with me :( And that you're not terribly disappointed with me... shame on me ;_; **

**Still, this chapie will work for you even though you might have forgotten stuff ^^ you'll see what I mean! **

**Enjoy!**

**Warning: This is and will be an adult fic about male love, if you don't like that, I don't want to hear it ._. you make me sad **

**Disclaimer: Naruto and all the characters are still not owned by me ;_; give them to me as a graduation gift? -giggle-**

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"Really..." The blond man sighed as he stood up from the chair, walking over to the window and - without really making any notice of his own actions - placed his palm against the cold of the window-glass. He looked tired, maybe because he had not been sleeping well at all the past months, waking up with a twitch every time he heard the slightest noise in the apartment. "I'm just tired... I don't need a day of, I'll be fine..."

The man in the chair he had been sitting next to now sighed and rubbed his temple with a slender fingertip, shaking his head. He could see all too well how tired the young man was, but he also knew why Naruto refused to take any days of or at least work less a day. The boy, which he still was somewhere inside, had no money to spare and even though he could handle the rent and the food, of course he would need money to be able to handle a life too.

"Naruto..." He began, wanting to make the younger one see reason in what he was proposing. "I know that you need the money but... you hardly even have time to go home to see your son, you need this... I can give you a raise if it's the money you're after?"

The blond looked back at him in slight shock, not really knowing what to say when getting such a bold offer. "You really could do that? Even though I where to take some days of?"

"I am the boss here" the man laughed slightly and stood up, walking over to his apprentice with the same soft smile as he used to use to calm the young one. "I can do what ever I want, as long as you promise me something..."

"And what can I promise you that could be good enough for a raise...?" Naruto asked back, a flinch of suspicion in the blue of his orbs.

"Don't look so suspicious boy" his boss laughed and shook his head. "Just you promise me that you'll take care of that boy, and of your self... you need this even though you are air-headed enough not to get it yourself"

"I promise"

Naruto could hardly believe it was he pressed the bag with ice cream and chocolate souse against his chest while hurrying through the winds and blowing leaves towards his apartment. He missed his boy just like every day after work and wanted to get home asap to be able to surprise him when he woke up from his nap. The colorful leaves made him smile tenderly even though the sky as gray and when he stepped into the elevator he realized a little red one had gotten itself stuck in his blond locks. He shook his head a little and smiled wider, lifting one of his curls just to realize that he should cut his hair soon. It had almost grown so much he could have strapped it up in a pony-tail. ALMOST.

As he entered through the front door the apartment as silent as it always was in the nights when he left for work and Tsuki was still sleeping, now Naruto drew a deep breath with relief, this was just what he had planned. He tiptoed passed the sleeping boy's room, peeked into the living room where Haku had also fallen asleep on the sofa, and then he went into the kitchen with a smile. He could not stop smiling as he started to chop up some banana and crush some meringue. While not knowing himself how much his smile was sparkling he thought about Tsuki's childish face whenever the boy got something sweet just after waking up. Naruto just couldn't wait to see that cute expression again, the boy had been to gloomy lately and Naruto, feeling guilty, had felt the need to sheer him up for weeks now, though he had not had the money to do so.

It had been almost seven months now (Tsuki had even turned three about a month ago.) since the morning when Sasuke had visited and Naruto had mistaken him for a dream. He had at first been obsessing about it, going around town, asking people if they had seen Sasuke anywhere but that had only led to people thinking he had started to lose his mind. The first sign of that had been when his friend Kiba had started to tell him go see a shrink every other day and even though Naruto never really took his hints seriously, the fact that Neji had insisted on living next door to him had started to make Naruto think for real. In fact, it would even be dangerous if people started thinking Naruto had gone mad, he would have to quit his job and go see a shrink, he wouldn't be able to pay for the therapy and he might even lose Tsuki, now THAT was something he couldn't risk for anything in the world and even though it hurt to try to forget the slightly weird encounter with his old love, he had forced himself to do so.

Tsuki though, being pretty bright for his age (no shit with the kind of genes he had) had started to notice something was off, it was obvious. He did not want to fall asleep unless Naruto was home, which made it hard for Haku to babysit him in the days. Even when Tsuki woke up he would always run straight to the front door, Haku used to tell him, standing there for more than a minute in silence, almost as if waiting for Naruto to walk inside... Sometimes he asked when daddy would be home; sometimes he just walked silently into the living room and started to play with his things, everything in silence for several minutes. Haku had been alarmed by this behavior and told Naruto as soon as it had started, and that was about at the same time when the blond had been so obsessed with Sasuke that he couldn't even sleep at all at night.

Both Haku and Naruto had noticed though, that as soon as Naruto calmed himself and started to live again, not asking anyone about Sasuke anymore, Tsuki had slowly started to go back to normal; smiling and laughing together with them both, asking if he could see Aiji soon, playing the first thing he did in the mornings and coming running to the door first when he heard Naruto enter through it.

Even though it made Naruto's heart warmer and calmer too, it was hard thinking about the fact that his own distress had hurt this innocent child. His thoughts of Sasuke had not been transparent to the boy but... Even though Naruto had tried his best to hide it, the boy had gotten in-between anyway... that wasn't the way it was supposed to be.

_'You'll never be second again...' _he thought as he cut the banana pieces and put them into a big bowl on the counter, smiling a little again as he felt some pain surge through his body. This pain he had felt for so long now, it was not news to him and he had learned to live with it. There was no reason for him to dwell in the past as long as he had Tsuki, his little boy, with him here in the present. Why think about Sasuke when this boy was growing day by day, when this boy was beaming with sunshine from his eyes, something that Sasuke would never have shown to anyone. This wasn't Sasuke's son, Tsuki was HIS and no one else's. _'If Sasuke wanted to take him away from me, then I would kick his sorry ass, definitely'_

"_I don't want to know... Where you've been, what you've done, who you've been with... I don't want to hear it... to me, you haven't come back, so you go again... and just pretend... that this never happened, that you never saw me Sasuke..." _

"_What if that's not how I want it to be...?" _

_'Well...'_ Naruto thought as he whipped some cream, putting extra sugar into it just because he liked it that way._ 'This is not about what YOU want Sasuke...' _He nodded as he tasted the cream, swallowing the sweet fluff and his tears._ '...this is about what I want and my son... so don't you lecture me, you don't deserve to get to explain it to me'_

"_What if I'm here to stay this time... Naruto?" _

_'Obviously, you weren't... and to be honest, I'm glad'_

"Naruto-san?" Haku's soft voice said and woke him from his memories and the blond looked up in surprise before his face broke into the gentlest smile.

"I'm sorry if I woke you" he chuckled and held out a finger with whipped cream towards the beautiful man. "I just wanted to make something sweet for Tsu, he's been through enough to deserve that, don't you think?"

The dark haired one smiled and nodded as well, closing slender fingers around Naruto's hand while licking the sweet fluff up. This was nothing unusual for the two of them; they had never had any problem being close in the year or so that they had known each other. Not that Naruto was sexually attracted to the man or anything, really, he hadn't even thought about it once in his life, but for someone else this behavior might seem slightly odd. Naruto only smiled and pulled his finger back as the other licked his lips.

"Well? What do you think, need more sugar?"

"Nah, it's good" Haku smiled and nodded, then pulled his hair up into a pony-tail while moving over to the sink in order to make the dishes. "He'll be so happy that you're already home… Really, he has been talking about you all day today, apparently the teddy you gave him is the love of his life, wouldn't even let me touch it"

Naruto laughed brightly at this and nodded. He had indeed thought that Tsuki would like it but that he would love it that unconditionally he would never have guessed. It had been a couple of days ago when Naruto was in town with Ino and Sakura after work, no children allowed, and they had gone into one of the five stores selling teddies, dolls, games, movies etc. for children. Sakura wanted to since her daughter was soon turning two and she had to find her the perfect gift. Naruto didn't really like those stores but he had thought that one visit wouldn't hurt or give him bad dreams, and besides, it was the dolls that gave him nightmares, not the teddies. When they had been in there for about an hour on the other hand he had started to regret ever walking into that store. There had been so many dolls everywhere that he could hardly keep himself from running away, instead though he had been standing by the teddies for forty minutes, just staring at them when he suddenly had seen something sticking up from underneath the bigger ones, in the back. As he had moved all the other plushies away he had found a black one, not bigger than the palm of his hand, the cutest thing he had ever seen… he just had to by it. Then the fact that Tsuki's birthday had closed onto them had only made the extra present more valuable.

"Has he named it yet?" He now asked as he started mixing the banana and meringue with the whipped cream, his stomach grumbling with hunger and anticipation. Both he and Tsu loved this, and cupcakes, they were the things that boy always asked for if Naruto wondered what he wanted to eat, that and ramen of course.

"I think he just calls it teddy…" Haku half laughed and washed of the now clean glasses. "Though I find it pretty odd that he hasn't thought of a name for his lover yet."

"His lover?" the blond laughed and felt his heart melt as he thought of the cuteness. "I would actually not mind if my son was gay or even asexual but… having a teddy as his lover? Haha"

Haku laughed as well and shook his head, explain that he had seen the little one run around all day with its paw in his hand, explaining every part of the apartment to it and patting it on the head, just like Naruto used to pat Tsuki's. Naruto laughed even more at this and asked if that was the reason behind the whole "lover-idea" that Haku had gotten, because clearly Tsuki then thought of the teddy as his son or maybe a sibling, not something as complicated as a lover.

"It's not like I pat him on the head and kiss him because he is my lover stupid" the blond added while smiling and put the sweets down on the table. "Besides, if it was his lover I'd start to wonder where the hell he has found out about things like that"

"That's true, I didn't think about that" Haku teased and pushed his friend in the side, almost out of the kitchen. "but you of all people should know that kids today pick up almost everything their parents do and say"

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Naruto blurred out while blushing but before Haku even got time to smirk, a little black lightning bolt came hitting Naruto's leg hard from the side.

"Daddy!" came that cute voice belonging to his boy and Naruto could nothing but laugh slightly with relief of having him near again. "Daddy, daddy I missed you!" the boy complained and hugged around his father's leg as if though he was still a two year old, shy boy.

"I missed you too Tsu" the blond smiled and for a moment it felt as I though all of his troubles had been totally washed away by those sweet eyes and the cute smile flashing through Tsuki's dark eyes. "But you know what..?"

The boy looked up at his father in surprise while shaking his sweet head. "No what? What? What? What?" he then smiled and looked over at Haku who was now making the table. "There are sweets?"

"Yes there are" Naruto laughed and ruffled the boy's hair, gently bending down to kiss his forehead, smiling even more as he saw the boy holding the teddy tightly in his hand.

"Thank you daddy!" the boy now half squealed and once more hugged around his father's legs, looking back up at him with sparkles filling his eyes. "Can Aiji also have some? Please say he can daddy, please?"

Haku laughed softly at this, both him and Naruto had suspected that that question would come sooner or later, it always came at moments like these. Naruto now shook his head with a smile on his lips that he could not have wiped of even if Sasuke had entered through the front door that very instant. "Sure…" he then said and nodded towards the door. "go get him tiger"

"Rawr!" Tsuki laughed and was out the front door in two seconds, his PJ's flying as a cloak behind him. Haku smiled back at his friend and the blond sighed with soft happiness shining through his eyes. He knew that as long as Aiji was close by, Tsuki would always be this happy, so maybe it wasn't a bad thing that Neji had moved in next door, even though Naruto had found it pretty scary at the beginning. Haku though had tried to calm his mind by assuring that if Neji ever made a move on him, the both of them could just pretend they were together again, Naruto though, was not sure if that thought was reassuring or made him even more uneasy.

"Haku, do you wanna stay here overtime and eat with us?" Naruto asked now though and took out another plate, holding it out for his friend. The beautiful man blushed slightly but nodded a little and took the plate, setting it with the others on the table.

"But you don't need to pay me for it…" he said and Naruto laughed while nudging him in the side.

"I wasn't planning to"

Haku laughed too and leaned a little against him in a friendly way as the front door opened again and the little black lightning bolt came running though the hallway. "Clothes!" he called as he was already pulling his PJ's of before even entering his bedroom. Naruto laughed more and shook his head as he walked out into the hallway.

"Tsu? You know you've already been seen by them in your PJ's right?" he said as he stepped out through the kitchen door, nodding at Neji who was standing in the doorway with little Aiji in his arms. "Come one in, stupid, otherwise Tsu will get upset with you taking so long"

"Daddy down!" The little boy in Neji's arms called with big eyes, obviously not wanting his friend to get sad and his dad softly put him down on the floor, both men smiling as he made his way through the apartment and into Tsuki's room, calling: "Tsu-chan! Tsu-chan! Don't be sad!" over and over.

Naruto shook his head with gentle movements and walked over to hug his friend gently. "I think your son misunderstood me" he smiled against Neji's shoulder and the older man chuckled softly while pulling his blond friend closer.

"Well he is still almost half a year younger than Tsuki you know" he said and then looked down at Naruto with those kind eyes. "He still doesn't really understand everything you tell him."

"Really?" Naruto teased and poked at Neji's strong chest before stepping away, turning once more towards the him by the kitchen door with a childish smirk on his lips. "Tsuki understood everything when he was two and a half ya know"

"Yes well he is the son of a genius..." At this Naruto could feel his heart first stop immediately then starting to beat in a frightfully quick pace. Did Neji know? Had he figured it out..? That Sasuke was Tsuki's father? Had Sasuke told him perhaps..? They had been friends for a long time after all… There was no way that he would be prepared to defend himself against Neji if he started accusing him of covering all that up, not now. Naruto had almost stopped thinking of the possibility that anyone would doubt him anymore. But his fright was calmed almost instantly as Neji chuckled and added: "or wait… that is MY son, last I checked, my IQ was higher than yours"

"Well" the blond smiled and stepped into the kitchen where Haku was already waiting. "That obviously shows that my genes are not as strong as Tsuki's mother's then…" He did not sound sad but Neji knew that was his way of ending the conversation. Naruto could not afford to speak about this when the subject was so sensitive, and he always used Tsuki's "mother" as ending word like this. Everyone got that and stopped asking questions when he did.

"Waaah!" Tsuki called as he ran passed his father and made a loop around Haku who laughed with that innocent, happy face of his. "I'm a plane!"

"haha take it easy Tsuki-kun.." the man said as he shook his head. "What if you get hurt?"

"I'm a plane too!" came the call from little Aiji and as both Naruto and Neji entered through the door, he too was running around Haku's legs with his arms stretched out to imitate a plane.

"Okay everyone…" Naruto sighed and shook his head as all his worries and fright disappeared at the sight of those cute little ones. "sit down at the table and I'll make sure you kids get some lemonade"

"I'm a kid too" Neji laughed and sat down, receiving a smiling nod from Haku. "Man I got thirsty just by you saying the word "lemonade", stop being so mean Naruto"

"So you don't feel like you need any help around here then?" Neji asked as he was trying to capture his wild son. The boys had been running around the apartment for almost an hour after Neji had said that it was time to go home and every time Neji got close, the little one just hid himself somewhere that was impossible to find.

Naruto just smiled and picked the fighting Tsuki up from the floor, not at all seeming to notice the fact that the boy was struggling like crazy. "I'm fine Sempai, you don't need to worry about me okay?" he then said and held the boy tight, which made the little one even more crazy.

"Daddy let go!" he called even though the grownups didn't seem to notice, reaching his hands for Aiji who had now been picked up by Neji too. "Aiji-chan!"

"Besides…" Naruto added and looked towards the kitchen. "Haku is here with me, and Tsu actually calms down pretty much if it's just us here…" The boy had stopped struggling in Naruto's arms and was now glaring up at Neji with his dark eyes.

"Let Aiji-chan go… Neji-san…" he said with childish hatred but was once again ignored to the fullest.

"Okay" the older one answered his blond friend and nodded before walking towards the door and stepping out into the hallway, hie still struggling son in his arms. "But if there is anything I can do you know it's just to knock Naruto…"

"Of course I do" the blond smiled as always and gave his friend and the little boy a warm hug, making Tsuki grab his friend hard, trying to pull him out of Neji's strong arms."Tsu…" Naruto said at this and tickled his son until the boy let go. Both him and Neji har realized months ago that it would always be like this if they were to break the boys up. They played so well together it was almost heartbreaking to end it, but to not let yourself give in to those sad puppy-eyes was the trick both of them had now learned. "Let's go watch a movie okay?"

As soon as the door was shot and locked, Naruto relaxed softly and put the boy back down on the floor, smiling as the little one ran into the living room to pick out a movie he wanted to see. The boy was a little mad, but it would let go of him sooner or later... Naruto stood there for a while, closing his eyes to calm down his still busy mind. He had nothing against seeing Neji, not at all. Neji had been a great support for him always and they had been very good friends. However, it felt as if though there was something that had changed in their relationship since his sempai had moved in next door and that was hard to deal with. Neji was overprotective by nature, but the fact that he always came over without asking first always caught Naruto too much of guard.

"Are you okay Naruto-san?" Haku asked as he came out into the hallway too, hands wrapped in the cloth he was using to wipe the dishes. "It seems like you haven't gotten that much sleep lately…"

"Nah I'll be fine" the blond only smiled but Haku shook his head at this, putting the plate he was wiping down on the small table underneath the mirror.

"No you won't" he said and walked closer to his friend, gracing his forehead with the palm of his cool hand. "You don't seem to have a fever at least… but go rest for a while, I'll take care of Tsuki…"

"But I don't have money enough to pay for it…" Naruto tried to complain but the dark haired beauty just smiled again.

"Conceder this as "a friend helping another friend – thing" okay?"

Sometimes Naruto could not show enough how much Haku helped him and how much he appreciated it. The beautiful man had been there too, for so long, he had become a necessity, the only think holding their fragile life up. Yes, Tsuki was old enough to be at some kind of daycare but Naruto was all to scared that one of his old teachers would see Sasuke in the boy who wasn't rightfully his. Haku had no connection to the mysterious man and he didn't need to worry when he was with Tsu, because the boy loved Haku like a sister. Naruto had just recently realized that Haku was a really good friend as well, helping out overtime without money just so that Naruto would get though the day. He would never have thought that when he hired him, that day, so long ago.

"Thank you so much..." he now sighed with relief and let his head drop a little, feeling Haku's soft hand slide down to his shoulder before the man pulled him close into a warming hug. "What would I do without your help..?"

"I have no idea" Haku smiled and hugged his friend for a while before looking at him again, his face shining with warmth and comfort. "But don't worry 'bout it, kay?"

"I'll make it up to you... I promise Haku"

"I know" the dark one laughed and then started pushing Naruto towards the bedroom. "You take a nap now, I'll be out here, watching the movie with Tsuki."

Naruto smiled and closed the door gently behind him, closing his eyes as he leaned against the smooth surface, his head bumping into it as he breathed in a more calm matter just to be sure he didn't panic. He hated this, this was supposed to be a good day, why did he feel like this? His heart was pumping, his breath was uneven and his palms where sweaty even though he was cold and shivering. He shook his head and walked over towards the bed slowly, sitting down as his knees started shaking and threw one gaze at his phone before he lay down, closing his eyes once more, almost passing out against the flower-patterned pillow.

Though, every-time he fell asleep like this, his dreams were so freaked out he always woke up, either regretting that he even went to sleep or so tired it felt more like he had run a thousand miles than slept for hours. This was no exception. Colors and shapes flashed before his eyes, hands gripped him tight and feet kicked his fragile body senseless until he woke up with a muffled scream, panting heavily as he sat up abruptly.

"Dad...?" Tsuki whispered and took a step closer to the bed as his father had started to relax a little. He was holding his teddy close to his chest, looking scared and worried when Naruto turned his eyes to him, realizing his son was the one who had woken him out of his nightmares. "Are you okay daddy?"

Naruto rubbed his eye quickly and forced a smile to his lips, reaching for his boy who immediately came close and pushed himself towards his strong chest. "Yeah, don't worry Tsuki..." he smiled and closed his eyes against those raven locks while calming down. "I just had a bad dream."

"I thought grown-ups didn't have bad dreams..." the boy almost complained and crawled up on the side of the bed, his cold feet sneaking in under the blanket, sending shivers and goosebumps down over Naruto's legs as they nudged his tie.

"I'm sorry to disappoint you" Naruto chuckled and held his boy tight, relaxing again, completely. He hated himself for letting his own fragile mind affect his boy like this, hated the way he was defenseless when he was sleeping, how he couldn't escape his long lost wishes and dreams for the hours when he was sleeping in the same bed he had always had... He knew he was though, that he was done dreaming and wishing for Sasuke to come back, knew that he had to move on and that if he hadn't already tried hard enough, he'd try even harder... but his dreams wanted something else, wanted to curse him with memories he would much rather have just forgotten or never even lived...

"Dad..." Tsuki said after a while and broke Naruto out of his thoughts. "Why does Aiji need to move..?"

Naruto smiled slightly and closed his arms tighter around the boy he held so dear. "Aiji's mother wants to see him too you see" he answered and looked down into those deep-blue eyes shining so innocently up at him. "So, when she has time, Aiji stays at her house for a couple of days..."

"So if my mom was here, would she want to see me?" The boy whispered and Naruto closed his eyes while hugging him tighter.

"Well, you know that she isn't... but I promise, if she was, she'd want to spend so much time with you..."_ 'After all...' _he thought and smiled at the though, wishing silently that he wouldn't have to lie to everyone, especially not Tsuki, about this. _'...who wouldn't want to have a son like you?'_

Tsuki seemed to think about this for a while, almost looking like a grown-up when his forehead wrinkled like that. Naruto just couldn't help himself as he chuckled gently and kissed that tender face and those cute, wrinkled brows. As soon as the boy got older, he planned on telling him, at least telling him something. He couldn't do this to him, if the boy thought much more about it, he'd look like an old ma at the age of fifteen.

"Then..." Tsuki suddenly said underneath Naruto's kisses. "..what about you and mom?" Naruto was slightly surprised at the sight of such a question. What on earth did he mean with that? He didn't at all understand what he was supposed to answer so he just sat in silence, waiting for some kind of explanation. "..don't you want to see her? And kiss her... and stuff?"

Naruto felt a laugh bubble under his breath but he more blushed while wondering like hell where Tsuki had learned something like that. Had the boy seen him and Haku? Or had Aiji said something? For all he knew, Anko and Neji didn't have that kind of relationship anymore, so the most logical explanation was not that the small one had told Tsuki... Of course, Tsuki could have seen it somewhere when he was outside with Haku but.. to ask that..?

"Why do you ask that Tsu?" Naruto smiled and patted the boy's dark hair gently.

"Because.. when you like someone, you kiss" the little one answered and nodded, as if making his statement even clearer. "like that man, the really tall one with black hair..."

"What man..?"

"The man in the hallway"

Naruto's eyes widened. Had... Tsuki seen Sasuke? The day he had "visited"? Sasuke had indeed kissed him but, Naruto had had no idea that Tsuki had even been up that night? Had he really? In that case, even a small child like Tsu would have seen the resemblance, he might start asking? What would the answer be, what would he say? But Even though you might think that Naruto's mind was now spinning so much it would make him dizzy, that's not the case. His heart was beating, yes, but he was perfectly calm. So, Tsuki had actually seen them?

"Do you mean from before?" He now asked and kept his smile shining, wanting Tsuki to know that this was something that was completely okay and that nothing would change just because he had seen that.

"Yes" the little one smile. "And now... he just got here"

That's when it all came down upon the blond man on the bed. Tsuki was still smiling and nodded when Naruto's eyes widened in shock. Sasuke was here, now? The boy jumped down from the bed and jumped a little on the floor while saying something about Naruto joining them in the living room because Haku had invited him to eat something. But Naruto could do nothing but just sit there.

What was this shit? Why was he here? Why now? How could he so much as think it was okay that he showed up seven months later even though he had stayed away for so long? Was he sick? Was this fun to him?

His mind was spinning now, but not like all other times. If there were tears in his eyes they were tears of rage not sadness, if he was trembling it wasn't because of the fact that he might see Sasuke again, it was because of the fact that he was so furious he didn't know what to do with himself.

Tsuki had already left the room and Naruto felt his legs shake as he placed his feet on the carpet by the bedside. He knew he would punch the man hard, harder than he had ever punched anyone before. He could at least have done as Naruto had told him and stay away from him! Was that so hard? It didn't matter to him if Sasuke moved back, if Sasuke wanted him back as a friend? Or what, his fucking lover? This wasn't about what Sasuke wanted, as it had always been, this was about Naruto, and Tsuki. Sasuke could move back to Konoha all he wanted, but if he ever so much as crossed the line again Naruto wouldn't break, not this time, no matter what.

As soon as his legs were working he stood up, pulled on a shirt, because his old one had gotten thrown off of him in his sleep, then he rushed towards the door, eyes burning with red, fiery hatred and disgust. That son of a bitch! He slammed the door open and then shut it even harder behind him, just to make his presence known to the unwelcome guest and stomped into the living-room, ready to scream and shout for him to GET OUT! He needed to see that he wasn't welcome, and he never would be. Not again. Not after what he had done, not after all the things he had put them though!

But the sight that met him left him silent, shocked and unable to move.

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**Oh.. What? Wait? Oh sorry, it had to end there guys, ran out of paper you see -lying-**

**what will happen next? **

**What is Sasuke planning and how will Naruto react when Neji suddenly starts acting even more suspicious towrds him? **

**What will happen to poor little Tsuki when he is separated from Aiji for longer than any of them planned, and will Naruto ever be able to forgive Sasuke for what he has done? **

**AHHH :D **

**What do you guys think? ;)**

**I'm sorry I kept you waiting for so long, it's not gonna happen again ;D I assure you that I will NOT lose the story again! I graduate after all, haha (and I'm working on an extra chapter right now as a compensation for the wait!)**

**Please review and tell me what you think, I'll answer everyone, as always! :D **

**See you soon again!**

**/Ritsu  
**


	6. lost in your smile

**Extra Chapter  
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**Well I thought you guys had had to wait all too long for a chapter to be put up, so what the heck? I mean, I don't do anything at work anyway so, I figured I might as well write and extra chapter for you and hope that it will air soon enough for you to be excited about it! Yay!**

**It is not as long as the rest of the chapters but it still belongs to the original storyline. This takes place before Sasuke left Konoha the first time, when they where about 17 years, before Tsuki was born! Hope you like it! **

**Warning:**** Okay, this chapter is just cute and no yaoi, but still, the STORY is about male love, so if you don't like, don't bother me :D I'm glad if you do like it though and tell me so in reviews! **

**Disclaimer:**** I do NOT own Naruto. Still. –sad- why won't anyone give him to me? ;_;**

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Sasuke sighed as he made his way down the dark ally, his mind troubled and his hands shoved deep into his pockets as if though he has looking for something small that he had lost. The way home from school seemed endless and the rain poured down over him and down his neck like a waterfall rushes down the mountainside. He didn't look back even though he heard steps behind him and he didn't even care that a boy was sitting at the side of the road with his hands held out for money. Every afternoon when he was walking home, he saw the same kid, the same way, in the same clothes and even though the boy was about his age, he didn't even have the energy to care.

As the rain had stopped, leaving him there like a drenched kitten, he picked his phone out of his almost dry pocked, flipped it open and opened the message he had received over an hour ago. It was short, boring and not much it didn't even make him smile, sadly enough. "He is out, he'll be out until late tonight, come here?"

He sighed and shook his head as he looked towards the houses at the end of the street, those big, flashy ones that only rich people could afford, the ones who cast the slummy parts of town in shadow. He felt his stomach growl a little; clearly, he should have eaten more at school…

School.

How could you eat there with a class full of pompous idiots and fangrils, everyone screaming at the top of their lungs, when one of your two friends were out of town on business with his uncle and the other didn't even show up at all? Was e expected to sit there, alone by his table and watch how those girls giggled as the passed him? And how was he even expected to be able to chew when he was so worried about his friend, the one that didn't show, because he knew that the seventeen year old wasn't in any way capable of taking care of himself if he was sick and alone. All Sasuke had wanted to do was to run out, dash away from the building and not look back just to make sure Naruto was okay. But. There was no way he could do that.

So instead, as last period had ended, he had made his way through the rain, walking around without a plan, waiting for someone to want him, need him or just text him. He looked back at the narrow street from where he had come, seeing the figure of a man stopping by the sidewalk by the young boy. He knew that wasn't a good sign, but what should he do? He had no right to do anything to help that boy? If he did, he'd get beat to the brink of death, he knew, because that was the way he had "bonded" with Naruto, back when they were kids.

As he reached the large building, he looked over his shoulder again, aware that this might be a trap, but he didn't care. When he knocked, the door was only open slightly, her grey-blue eyes blinking slowly towards him, her lashes long and her fingers slender as they waved the slightest at him. As the door opened more she smiled, reaching her hand for him and leading him into the hall with its high roof and the white staircase leading up to her room. He knew the house by now, knew how to run and where to hide. He was not welcome there, only when she could see him.

"Are you doing okay, Sasuke-kun?" She asked in her gentle voice while handing him a towel she had fetched for him before he arrived. He had seen himself in the mirror and laughed on the inside when he had seen how much he really looked like a drenched kitten, she had seen it too and was clearly holding back a laughter even though her cheeks were flushed with shyness over his white shirt that stuck to his torso like a glove.

"I'm doing just fine, miss" he answered and smirked as she frowned at the honorific he had given her, but she was used to it by now and only shook her head, walking into the kitchen and looked back at him over her shoulder, bidding him to follow. And he did.

It smelled of new furniture in there. It was as if though the kitchen was never used other than maybe the fridge and the microwave and the stainless steel was shining with its blank surface almost blinding him.

"Would you like to eat something?" she asked and opened the fridge, looking with her soft gaze at the shelves. "You might need all the strength you can master…" her voice wasn't exactly mocking but he didn't like her tone when she said things like that. He knew perfectly well what he could do, and so did she. She just had to insult him, that was the way she was.

"I'll have time to eat afterwards…" He answered and started unbuttoning his shirt behind her bed, wanting this over with before he started to tremble with hunger, which he of course could not show her. The young woman smirked and pulled out some grapes, turned to him and watched his skilled fingers as he opened button by button. "In here today?" He asked and met her eyes, one eyebrow lifted as she bit one of the green grapes in half.

She nodded, her eyes darting away towards the dining table. He didn't protest, nor did he wait long before he had her underneath him, closing his eyes to focus, focus on anything else than what or who she was.

"Can't you just turn your phone off?" she complained after a while, hitting him hard as he had stopped moving from the distraction of his ringtone. He looked over at his pants and wondered, without answering her, who it could be that had now been calling him over five times. "Hey… don't stop…" She then begged and he felt himself shiver with some kind of uneasiness when her voice sounded like that.

"Sorry…" he just answered and let her go slowly, leaving her on the edge of the table while walking over to his pants, reaching into his pocket to dig his cellophane out.

"You know, you're a dick" the girl hissed and sat up, wrapping her kimono around her body not to get cold, watching his every move as he walked over the floor. "Hurry and come back, or I'll tell on you…"

"If you tell on me, I might die…" he said while cursing at the fact that his phone had died before he got the chance to even se who it was that had been calling. "…but you'll be punished to the edge of sanity too, so I would advise you not to..."

"I'd never" she giggled and bit a grape in half once more. "you know I love you Sasuke-kun"

"Yeah…" he answered even though he had stopped listening. His phone was now up and running again, his heart fell immediately as he saw the caller id and started to pull his boxers on before the woman could blink.

"Hey, where are you going?" She asked as soon as she realized what was going on.

"I need to go, sorry" was the only answer he could give her, knowing that no matter what he said she'd be mad anyway. "Family urgency.." he added which was a mistake.

"Not that again!" she spat and shook her head, wrapping the kimono harder around her slimmed body before jumping down to his level with an angry shill to her voice. "You don't even have a family Sasuke-kun, you can't give me that one more time, don't you think I've done my research and looked into you?"

"That's very nice of you…" he sighed and pulled his damp shirt back on. "but see, family doesn't have to be someone you're related to…"

"Still, your so called "family" seems to be so much more important than me, us?" She was crying now. Crocodile tears it was and he could see it long way as her mascara made highways down her pale skin. "I'll never let you come back here if you do this to me!"

"Hun.." he said, his voice calm and his face stoic as he turned to look at her again, done and ready to leave. "We both know you will, you'll always take me back…."

Then he turned away, leaving her in the kitchen, knowing that she would be crying for a while but not caring more about her than about the boy out on the street. No, caring even less about her than about that boy. She wasn't worthy of his time, not when Naruto needed him.

He unlocked the back door and slipped out into the now quickly falling darkness, funning over the main street and into the neighborhood he was so used to, as if though he himself was living there. With shaking fingers he pressed the code and rushed into the elevator, pressed the button to the right floor and made sure his shirt was buttoned right before he rang the doorbell at the ever so familiar door.

The blond boy opened slowly, his eyes swollen as if though he had been crying for hours, only dressed in a T-shirt that was three sizes too big and boxers underneath, making him look even less of a man than he already was.

"Naruto…" Sasuke panted and didn't hesitate to pull the boy into his strong arms, pressing him against his chest as they stumbled into the dimmed hallway. "I'm here now, I'm so sorry…"

The boy gripped his shirt and buried his nose in it, pulled himself as close as he possibly could while sighing deeply with relief. "I'm sorry… I know you were busy… I just…" his voice broke and Sasuke felt his heart grow with worry but warmth over this lonely sole who couldn't sleep alone and even less handle one of his nightmares.

"You really should get a cat…" he joked and stroke those blond curls with gently fingers, smiling as he heard Naruto laugh a little.

"Your stomach is growling Sasuke…"

"Last I checked that's perfectly normal" he laughed as answer and slowly led the boy into the kitchen, plucked him up as easily as if though he was only a child and sat him down on the counter. "okay if I make us some ramen?"

The blond one smiled and rubbed his eyes before nodding. Sasuke could see long way that he had a fever and that he really shouldn't be up, but he also knew by now that if Naruto didn't eat while being sick he collapsed later in a not so very nice way. So Sasuke popped some ramen into the microwave and took some bread out of the fridge, laughing about the fact that Naruto once again had forgotten to put them into plastic bags. The boy smiled, apparently relieved that his friend was finally there to cheer him up and so was Sasuke.

They sat down in front of the TV and watched a lame show about lamas, eating ramen and joking about stuff that had happened in school during the day. Naruto wanted to know everything that Kiba had said and laugh at everything Iruka had sculled Ino and Sakura for.

They didn't talk about the boy's dreams, because Sasuke knew perfectly well what they must have been about. They didn't even come close to talking about why he had called Sasuke there or where Sasuke had been, because they both knew. When they had finally decided to watch Final Fantasy; Advent Children and Sasuke had gotten the boy to drink some tea, Naruto's head had gently nudged his friend's shoulder… Sasuke chuckled gently at the sight of the sleeping beauty and gently helped the boy to lie down with his head in his lap, softly stroking those sweet locks.

As the movie was over, he smiled down at the younger one and poked gently at his nose while shaking his head. "Hey… wake up sleepyhead" The boy didn't react much, nor did he seem to be wanting to let go of Sasuke's arm, which he had been hugging now for the past hour or so. "Hey… Naruto… Wake up"

"mn… five more minutes…"

"Yeah… okay… come here big guy" Sasuke chuckled and picked him up in his arms as softly as he possibly could, figuring that why wake him when he could just carry him into the bedroom and let him sleep for as long as he needed. So with strong arms he carried his friend, bridal style, into the bedroom, put him down under the blankets and smiled as he crawled down with him, wrapping his arms around the slimmed body. "You sleep now… I'll be here when you wake up Naruto… promise"

As the darkness filled the room and the shadows where nowhere to be found, the moon slowly broke through the thick clouds and cast its ghostly glow over the two boys on the bed in Naruto's apartment, waking Sasuke up as if though it was a headlight of a car. He slowly rubbed his eyes and smiled at the boy in his arms who now looked more healthy without the dark bags under his eyes. He was glad that he had left that woman for this little boy, because here he was needed, not desired like she desired him. He didn't want that. He wanted to be needed, liked and appreciated…

He lie there for a while, just listening to the other's soft breath before he got up, gently, not to wake him, left the room and went to make some tea. It was such a nice apartment, a lot of space, an extra room and a kitchen where you could have friends over and sit down and eat. Sasuke had been living there for weeks at the time, even months, especially when they were renovation his house, and he liked it here, so much he had even thought about moving in with the blond. Not that he had asked yet, but there was a room here that wasn't used and Naruto surely wouldn't mind him living there, he had said so himself.

He smiled and poured a cup of tea before turning to go sit in the living room, finding Naruto in the doorway into the kitchen, dressed only in that large shirt still, smiling and rubbing his eyes.

"You thin you could run away from me?" he asked and his blue eyes glittered with sleepiness but calm happiness at the same time.

"Nah.." Sasuke smirked back and gave the boy the cup he himself had planned to drink from, then turned to pore himself another cup. "I just thought that you might want a cup of tea, in the middle of the night with me?"

"I'd love that…"

It was strange, Sasuke sometimes thought, how he and Naruto could be so perfectly natural with each other. Even though they fought like all friends sometimes do, they never seemed to slip apart, never seemed to be separable… Sasuke was always there for Naruto and vice versa. Neji too, but he was not like them. Sasuke could tell Naruto anything and he was sure the blond felt the same way. He'd never let him down. If he did, he could never forgive himself.

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**There we are! **

**Wasn't that a little cute? If you roll out the fact that Sasuke broke his promise and left Naruto in the end anyway… :( but we can just ignore that that even happened, yes?**

**I hope you like this little extra chapter written from Sasuke's perspective, before he left. Maybe now, and in the future, you will start understanding what really happened, both in Sasuke's mind and in their lives. **

**See you soon again, with a real chapter next time! **

**Until then, bye!**


	7. my life

**Hi you guys! OMG! **

**Yeah, you probably didn't see another chappie coming from me... sorry you guys.. I know I am the wors writer ever when it comes to finsihing my deadlines :( but look.. I made you and extra long chapter now so I hope you like it. There are... well, what should I say.. I think there are quite a few errors in this, since I haven't even read it through yet :( I just wanted to get it up as soon as possible... hehe XD **

**and just so you know, if you think it is weird that you don't get anything, it's okay :) in this chapter, quite a few years pass and if you do not understand where I'm going with this, please tell me so in a review or in a PM and I'll try sort things out for you :D **

**hope you like the chapter even though you probably don't even remember what happened in the last one XD enjoy**

**Disclaimer: once again... I do not own Naruto or Sasuke or any of those known japanese names :( however... Tsuki is mine : you can't have him!**

**Warning: "Don't be alarmed... I'm a professional... but underneath this pillow, lies the key to my relies..." :D no... just kidding :D but seriously guys :( this is a gay story :( don't hate me T_T**

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He had to blink, more than once, before he realized that Haku was pushed against the wall by arms strong enough, it seemed, for them to be lifting an entire truck. The man pushing Haku against the wall was indeed tall and had dark hair, but he looked nothing like Sasuke... his skin was darker and his hight was, well, he was much taller than Sasuke would ever become. Naruto blinked again and his cheeks turned bright red as he could see everything.. tongues, lips, hands and skin against each other and since none of the men seemed to realize that both hi and Tsuki were watching, Naruto grabbed his son quickly and pulled him back into the bedroom.

"Daddy...?" Tsuki asked as Naruto sank down on the bed with his heart so high in his chest that he could hardly breath. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing Tsu..." he half chuckled as answer and pulled his boy close, hands pulling the young one up into his lap. "You see... Haku-san seems to be in love, and like you said; when you love someone, you kiss them. And well..." He smiled and kissed Tsuki's half worried forehead. "When two grown-ups are kissing like that, you shouldn't really interrupt them... just so you know"

"I see..." the boy nodded and then curled up in his fathers lap, making Naruto even more relaxed since the shock and terror seemed to let go of him now, quickly. How the fuck could he have though it was Sasuke? The Sasuke he though he had known back then, he wouldn't have returned, not after something like that.

"You know what Tsu?" he then said and looked down at the boy in his arms, who was just to precious not to love. "You wanna draw with me while we wait?"

"Sure dad" the boy smiled and Naruto sighed with relief as Tsuki run over to the desk to grab the pens and paper. Tsuki wouldn't change and become a pompous brat that never smiled. He would make sure of that.

After about an hour, when Naruto and Tsuki had been drawing angels, birds and rainbows for so long Tsuki had fallen asleep on the large bed, Naruto dared looking out though a crack in the door, finding nothing more than silence outside. He stepped out and soon found Haku and the newcomer curled up together on the sofa in the living room, half naked and with messed up hair. The shirt Haku was wearing was too big on him too, which was a quite strong indication that it wasn't his...

"Erhm..." he said, or more sounded as he cleared his throat and in just the matter of seconds, the man holding his nanny opened his eyes, almost as if in panic. "Don't worry..." Naruto half whispered and smiled, holding out a cup of tea towards him. "I'm Naruto, thought we could have a talk?"

The man nodded and slowly pulled his arm back from where it had rested underneath the sweet body that was Haku, got up from the sofa and pulled on his pants before taking the teacup from Naruto and following him into the kitchen where they closed the door behind them.

Naruto smiled and offered him to sit opposite him by the kitchen table, his blue eyes following the older man while gently smiling. "So, you and my nanny, huh?"

"Yeah..." the man answered and Naruto had to really control himself not to laugh as the tall one sat down while blushing intensively. "I'm... Zabusa.. Me and Haku go way back, and well..."

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, Zabusa-san" he interrupted and drank form his own cup, which he had of course prepared before walking into the living-room. "I'm just happy for the two of you, even though you happened to be having sex in my living-room..."

"No" Zabusa blushed and bit his lip before drinking some of his tea. "We didn't really have sex.. I just, well, hn..."

"Don't worry" Naruto laughed. "Besides, my son will now be interested in kissing, which will be amusing, so no harm done.."

"Your son?"

"Yup" he smiled and looked towards the closed kitchen-door, almost as if wanting his boy to come in though it. "he saw you guys and came in to tell me that 'when you're in love you kiss'..."

"Haha, oh my... how old is he?"

Naruto felt some kind of calmness coming from this man, even though he was kind of dangerous looking and he actually felt happy for Haku that he had found someone strong to take care of him. "He is young enough to still be a kid even though his genes won't allow it..."

"He has a smart mother then?" Zabusa smiled and even though Naruto felt like telling him that he had no idea who the boy's mother was, he just nodded and looked out the window, somehow wishing that all his worries would soon go away. The fact that Sasuke had been there and that he had caused him so much worries had waged him down too much already. "Hm... I think I actually saw him earlier, your son I mean, though I didn't think he'd be there and I kind of ignored him... heh... sorry about that"

"Stop these foolish apologies..." Naruto chuckled and looked back at the man. "He needs to walk into someone having sex in his youth, otherwise he'll be just as cracked up as me.. haha"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I grew up without really knowing my parents, since they died when I was very young, and Tsuki... well, his mother has never been in the picture, nor have I had any close relationships and since he has never before seen passion, like the passion he saw earlier, I thought, maybe he would wonder about sex just as much as I did, but not have the courage to ask about it..."

"I'm sorry to hear that..." Zabusa said and wrinkled his forehead with a soft smile. "But I think you're wrong about your boy... all boys wonder about sex you know, he would have started asking sooner or later, I am sure.."

"I guess you're right.." he laughed back and somewhat felt even more at ease. Besides, if Tsuki now was as smart as his real dad, he wouldn't have any problems understanding what sex was all about.

It was kind of weird, but still nice, to see Haku so happy after that. He and Zabusa even cam over from time to time, or, after Haku had finished his shift at Naruto's place, Zabusa would come over with some take-out food for all of them, the four of them sitting down in the kitchen to eat, almost like a family. Tsuki, who in the beginning had been shy around Zabusa soon started to get along with him, even asking him to go out and play with him at the playground and Zabusa seemed more than pleased that the boy was so fond of him. Haku explained, while he and Naruto made the dishes, that Zabusa hadn't had a very good childhood but that he really would have liked to work with kids, if it wasn't for the fact that kids started crying around him.

Naruto enjoyed the warm feeling of home too, the happy laughters coming form the living-room whenever Zabusa ran around with Tsuki and the smile on Haku's face when ever his boyfriend showed up. Naruto kind of realized, month after month together with Haku and his man, that this might just be the best way for him to get back on his feet.

"You sure you're feeling better then?" Neji asked him, more then half a year after the almost embarrassing incident with well... Naruto just nodded and smiled as Tsuki ran straight out of the bushes after Aiji, who laughed heavenly with his eyes shining bright. "And you can sleep...?"

"Neji..." Naruto sighed and looked at his sempai while smiling just as bright as the small boys. "I'm quite alright, and you don't have to worry so much about what I do or how well I sleep. Do I look like a corps still? Because frankly, I feel much better now than I have done in years"

"So you and that nanny of yours, you're really..?"

"I have no idea of what you're talking about" Naruto laughed and picked little Aiji up into his arms as he came running. "Oh gosh..." he smiled and poked the boy in the stomach. "You have grown so big! You must have been eating a lot of vegetables to grow this big?"

"Yeah!" the little one giggled and hugged around Naruto's neck with his chubby arms. His hair was bleached from being out in the strong sunlight and his eyes seemed to have darkened over the summer. Even though he was still a bit chubby, Aiji had grown a lot and now looked almost like a small version of a human-being. "I am big boy now, daddy says"

"Yeah you really are..." Naruto smiled and kissed the boy's forehead before putting him back down on the ground, laughing softly as Tsuki caught the little one in his stronger arms and they both fell to the ground. "Neji..." he then said and turned to the older one, who he knew was not at all satisfied with their end of the conversation. "..is it so that you are wondering if me and Haku-san are lovers? Together? In love?"

"Yes" was the direct answer and Naruto held a laugh back as Neji turned his face away while blushing. "She is an attractive woman after all..."

"First, sempai, Haku-san is not a woman, he is a man." he answered to that and waved to Anko, who had now come to pic her son up. He didn't even turn to look at his friend's chocked expression. "and secondly, Haku-san is together with another man so, that is a no to all the questions about Haku-san and me that you could possibly have had. Now, I have to get Tsuki home so, if you wanna ask me out, do it quickly"

Naruto was in fact laughing inside. Since he really hadn't felt this good in years, he felt almost as if all this was a big joke. Yes, he had noticed the way Neji had been looking at him, always, but even so, he felt that there could be no harm in him going on a date with the man. It was a good opportunity to get a free meal if not something else. He didn't feel anything for Neji, nothing romantic at least but, he was bored and actually pretty... lonely? No, not lonely. He had Tsuki, Haku and Zabusa but... hmmm... You could say he was tired of sleeping alone when he had not had anyone in quite some time. And that didn't mean he would let Neji into his bed! He might just... give him a chance.

Neji just stood there however, which was a bit disappointing to the blond one. Maybe the older one was just to chocked, or maybe his burning feelings had cooled down somewhat... either way, Naruto sighed and smiled towards him over his shoulder before catching Tsuki and pulling him up into his arms.

"Let's go home kiddo..." he said and after Tsuki had protested a bit, then waved to Aiji, he smiled to his friend. "See you around sempai, kay?"

"Y-yeah..."

The fact that Tsuki grew quickly was both magnificent and scary to him, seeing his boy grow month by month, hearing how he wanted to cut his hair, how he wanted to stay at a friend's house every now and then, seeing how much he now looked like Sasuke. He knew that one day he might have to tell someone, Sakura perhaps, so that there wouldn't be weird rumors about his boy... or something. But for now, he had to trust himself. Even though he knew that Tsuki wasn't his by blood, Tsuki had never known another father. And he never would.

"Dad!" Tsuki called suddenly and Naruto looked up from the kitchen table where he had fallen asleep while writing. He looked around in confusion just to see the boy in the doorway, his blue school uniform tidy, his bag thrown nonchalantly over his left shoulder and his hand shoved into the right pocket.

"Tsu.." he sighed and rubbed his forehead before looking back at the beautiful boy. "I'm sorry, forgot about your school... what time is it? Did you get something to eat..?"

"It's okay dad.." the boy smiled and dropped the bag to the floor, walking over to the table and jumping up into Naruto's lap. "It's not that late, I just wanted to try the clothes on before leaving, and I'm not a kid anymore you know, I can make my own breakfust"

"What?" Naruto laughed and closed his warm arms around the boy, closing his eyes agains his hair. "Since when did you stop being a kid? I though you were still eight years old you know... did I miss a bunch of birthdays?"

Tsuki sighed, with a playful sound as if trying to sound like a teenager. "Dad..." he then said and shook his head. "I am already starting school, so I'm a grownup"

"Is that what makes you a grownup?" Naruto laughed and then let the nodding boy down to the ground. "Well then, my little mister, do you want to go by yourself to school, now that you are so grown up and all?"

"No!" Tsuki pouted and looked grumpy. "You promised you'd go with me dad.."

"Yes yes, I know hun"

Naruto hurried to change and gave the clock a quick eye before hurrying a bit more. He hadn't really forgotten that Tsuki was starting school today, but he suspected that his mind had been bushing it away so that he wouldn't have to worry about it. He had been working last night after Tsuki had gone to bed and apparently he had fallen asleep against his work... not good. He should have taken a shower too but he didn't have the energy, nor the time. So a clean shirt and a clean pair of pants and socks would have to do.

"Daddy!" Tsuki called and Naruto hurried some more until the were finally out the door and on their way down the stairs. Tsuki was smiling and talking, a lot, reminding Naruto more of himself than he had ever done, but all the way the boy gripped his father's hand hard.

"You'll be okay Tsu" Naruto smiled and gripped the still small hand back as he opened the front door to the academy. He remembered all to well how his own first days had been there, how he had had to go there by himself...

"You promise..?" Tsuki whined and pressed himself agains Naruto's side, scared. Naruto nodded and smiled widely as he saw Iruka hugging Sakura up ahead. He kneed next to his boy and pointed in the other's direction.

"You see him..?" he asked and Tsuki nodded with a smile.

"Iruka-san? What is he doing here?"

"Well" Naruto smiled and waved to the older man. "He was my teacher when I went to this school, you know that right?" the boy nodded at this and smiled when Iruka waved back. "And it seems he will be your teacher as well"

"Really?"

"Yeah, really"

"WOW!"

Naruto laughed and bit his lip as he saw the look on Iruka's face. Iruka had been one of the few people who had actually seen him for who he was, and not for all the mistakes he made. But Iruka had also been the one who had known him the best... known Sasuke the best. Judging from the look on Iruka's face now, as he saw Tsuki in his school uniform for the first time... Naruto knew, that Iruka knew.

Tsuki was soon acting as if he had been there forever. His smile was wider, his eyes brighter and his fanclub grew minute by minute. There were girls everywhere, boys as well, wanting to talk to him, wanting to be friends with him and Naruto laughed as the boy hugged one of the smaller girls when she had been pushed by some irritating fangirls.

"Take it easy!" Tsuki banned and looked at the others with his angry face. "You're hurting her... you shouldn't make others cry!"

"You should be proud Naruto..." Iruka smiled and walked over to him, giving Naruto a warm hug before looking back at the young kids. "He really... is something special"

"Who said I wasn't proud?" the blond laughed and he could see how Iruka, in the corner of his eye, looked back at him as he spoke. "I couldn't be more proud really..."

"Naruto... I..."

"Yeah I know..." Naruto interrupted and looked back at his old teacher, his friend. "You know. I'm aware of it but..." he fell silent and they both looked back at the raven haired boy who was just about to climb up on top of a desk to get away from the girls, laughing. "...please, I need this.."

"I understand..."

"I need to go on pretending..." he half whispered and felt prickles of unwanted goosebumps form on his arms and in the back of his neck. "...for him... he is the only thing I have"

"I know that..." Iruka sighed and softly gripped Naruto's hand where the others couldn't see, holding it tightly. "..I'm here for you, okay? I would never do anything to hurt you or that boy in there... don't worry, okay?"

"Thank you.. Iruka"

"So.." Iruka now smiled and shoved his old student in the side. "Let's make sure this class and your kid doesn't behave as badly as you and your friends used to do"

"Oh come on!"

The both of them laughed a little before Iruka went to have Tsuki removed from the table. Naruto smiled and shook his head as Tsuki made eye contact with him, the boy just smiled heavenly and as usual, Naruto melted. He then realized one of the mothers were looking at him and it took some time before he realized that it was one of the girls that had graduated together with him. He waved a little and she smiled back, pointing at one of the small girls who were obviously hers. He gave her a thumbs up. He didn't really feel like making friends today..

His eyes traveled around the room and there was a knob on his stomach that just didn't want to go away. He didn't want to leave Tsuki here, because to him, the boy was still all to young for this. It seemed like just yesterday when the boy had been crawling round on the living room floor, hiding his toys under the pillows in the sofa or trying to climb up onto the table... even though Naruto knew that was all in the passed now, he just couldn't let it go.

But in the middle of his thoughts, his eyes fell on a girl at the other side of the room. She was looking straight at him with dark eyes, her hair a deep shade of purple-black and her hands resting against the wall behind her back. As he watched her and then looked around the room, there weren't any parents matching her there. She didn't look sad about it though, but she didn't seem very happy either. He watched her for a while, now that she had turned her eyes away and it hit her that maybe... maybe she was like him... like he had been, back then.

"Hey you..?" he said while approaching her and she looked up slowly, as if she had known that he would walk over to her. Naruto wasn't scared away by a pair of dark eyes though and leaned casually against the wall next to her. "Watch out for my son" he smiled and looked at Tsuki, who was running around already. "He's a killer."

"So am I" she responded, almost drily even though she was so young. "There shouldn't be a problem"

"If you say so" Naruto nodded and bit his lip before looking down at the girl again. "I'm Tsuki's dad... if there is anything, I mean, if you need someone to talk to sometime... I know, I'm weird but.."

"Yeah.." she interrupted and met his eyes, a slight smirk tugging at her lips. "You are weird... and I'm not in any trouble so, I don't need to talk to someone else's dad, thank you"

"Okay then.." he smiled back, even though her attitude made the hairs at the back of his neck stand up. She was like one of those gangster chicks you saw in movies, though she was only eight.

Iruka clapped his hands suddenly and Naruto was back at school, laughing on the inside as he remembered the first time he had heard those claps. He looked out over the room from the back where the parents where meant to stand as their kids where being called. He watched the back of Tsuki's head and couldn't help but smile even more as he saw the grin on the boy's face as he turned to look back at his dad. It was so strange to see it all from this angle... He had never really thought that he would have a kid, and he could never have guessed that if he did, the boy would be taught by the same teacher as he had once been so close to.

"Uzumaki, Tsuki?" Iruka called and Naruto was almost about to answer himself, but smiled widely as Tsuki gave up a loud "yes". After the attendance, the parents had to leave, and Tsuki was prepared and ready, since he just waved happily as his father left. Naruto felt a knob on his stomach but left anyway, knowing that Tsuki was perfectly capable of finding his way home alone after school. Ever since the boy had been about five, they had walked passed the school at least once a week, just so that he could study the kids that were playing on the schoolyard, so he knew his way alright.

As he crossed the yard, people waved at him, called his name, came up and spoke to him and he was kind of moved by it all. When he was in school, it was never like this, but now, the last couple of years, old enemies had come up to him to apologies, to talk... He would never have even dared to dream that he'd have such a rich life...

"Naruto!" came a voice and he turned in surprise once more. He hadn't seen anyone else behind him that he knew, so he had figured he could make his way home now, since he needed to use the bathroom... soon.

There was a man waling towards him, a man that Naruto hadn't seen for such a long time that it was hard to recognize him. But as it came to him, his heart jumped a little and he hurried back over the playground, totally forgetting about his full bladder.

"Sai!"

To tell the truth, once, when Sauske had been out with the third girl on the same weekend, Naruto had called Sai in the middle of the night. They had not had a very good relationship, not before or after that one time but, somehow, when Sai had knocked on Naruto's door that one time, they had put all that aside and just... been together.

The fact that they hadn't gotten along after that might have been a bit because Sai moved pretty far from town and changed his number. They hadn't really gotten in touch more after that. Now, more than ten years later, it was pretty safe to say that the years had been good to his old classmate... real good.

"So it really was you" the man grinned and came up to hug him, which surprised Naruto even more since Sai had never been the hugging type. He closed his eyes in the warm hug and hugged Sai back hard before nodding. "I though you might have moved or something.. I've lived here for a couple of months and I haven't seen your ass"

"You're back here?" Naruto smiled and felt his cheeks even hurt a bit when he did so. This guy was hardly as mean and stupid as the old Sai had been, and seeing those dark eyes so full of life now, was such a shock that he had no idea of what to do. "And your kid goes here?"

"Yup.." the dark-haired one nodded and looked back towards the grey building, as if wanting to see the kid they were talking about. "Or well, she isn't really mine, since it's my girlfriend's daughter but, she calls me dad so that has to count for something"

Naruto laughed a little and bit his lip. "It's nice seeing you again Sai... seeing you have changed a lot, for the better"

"Haha! I am the one who has changed for the better?" Sai laughed while shaking his head. "As if I was the one who used to be a total dick-head"

"You were!"

"Never!"

While arguing like schoolgirls about who had been the worst asshole, they made their way through the center of town. After the argue had calmed down, along with a growl coming from Naruto's stomach, Sai pushed him into a coffeehouse and they sat down for a cup of tea and some food, which was well-earned, considered the fact that they had been arguing for an hour.

Naruto was laughing so hard by the time they got their food that it had cooled down before he started eating it, but he didn't mind. Sai had so much to tell him that he couldn't have been more satisfied with eating cold pie.

"...so then I got together with her and it was great, but then it turned out she had this kid, or I mean, this girl, Nanami, and well, she was a sweetheart and since she wanted to go to the school her mom had gone to, we moved back here." Sai finally ended and Naruto smiled up at his friend from his food.

"You really have changed Sai" he said and nodded as he spoke. "Even though you and I didn't get along very well.. you have to agree with me when I say that you never used to be this happy, this open, you never used to talk this much and... well, weren't you as gay as a meatball?"

"Haha... about that" Sai cleared his throat and scratched his hair, even looked away a little. "Like... yeah, I am, I mean, I was very attracted to you, and yeah, some other guys but... I wouldn't really call myself gay, no"

"What?" Naruto was laughing again and even though he was blushing because of what Sai had just told him, he could not believe this guy was serious. "I mean, come on! You acted even more gay than I ever did! How can you NOT be gay?"

By now, everyone was looking at them, but Sai didn't seem to mind. "You could say that I am bisexual or something like that..." he said and laughed a bit at Naruto's blush and his cute reaction. "But my girlfriend is awesome, she understands... I think"

Naruto grinned and shook his head before looking out the window. Sai was different, he himself was different as well, but it felt good talking to him like this.. and that was something he would have never even guessed could happen. He didn't really intend to tell him everything though, but as they made their way down the street again, the words just left his lips and soon, Sai knew more than anyone. The man had just walked there, next to him, in silence, listening to everything Naruto had to say, only speaking once in a while or just nodding slowly. Before Naruto knew it, they were standing outside the entrance to the house where he lived and Naruto was already half regretting everything he had said. How could he know Sai would keep his secrets..? How could he know he wouldn't run off to his girlfriend and tell her everything...?

"Listen..." Sai said after a moment of silence in which Naruto had tormented himself. "..I won't tell anyone about your feelings for Sasuke... or what you have seen and heard, okay?" he paused and gently took Naruto's hand in his own. "I kind of got it back then, that you were in love with the guy and that that was the biggest reason why you called me back then... I know I look like him quite a lot"

"You don't now..."

"Yeah well, I used to.." Sai smiled and pulled him into a warm hug again, holding him tight for a while before speaking again. "..just call me if you need me okay? Just like back then, I'll come running as soon as I can, kay?"

"Yeah..." Naruto replied from the warmth of Sai's chest and then smiled. "I'll do that.. if you give me your number"

"No way, look it up in the phonebook!"

"Oh fuck you"

Sai just laughed and let him go, giving him a light kiss on the forehead before ruffling his hair gently. "I need to get going... Nanami will be getting home from school any minute, I have to make her something to eat"

"You're so cute" Naruto half giggled and bit his lip before opening the door to the entrance. "I guess I'll see you around then, Sai.."

"I'll make sure of it..."

And so it was with a warm knob in his stomach that Naruto got into the elevator and into his apartment and started to make dinner and opened the door when Tsuki got home and... well. Let's just say his stomach was warm all the way until he got Tsuki to bed and stepped into the shower... Where he made the warmth go away...

* * *

**NARUTO :O what the...(at least I didn't give you a cliffhanger this time)  
**

**okay, so what happened here? :O Tsuki is all grown up! ;_; well, for those of you who will go all angry at me now for mixing up the ages... In Japan, kids start school when they are about six, but in the actuall TV-show "Naruto", the kids start school when they are about eight. At least they start ninja-school at that time, I also wanted Tsuki to be a bit older than six, you'll soon get why :) **

**AND, do not hate me for bringing Sai into this ;) (oh you can hate me all you want but he is deffinately here to stay for a while). I like him, at least the geown up part of him and I tink, that if you give him a chance (and continue reading this story) he will get to your heart as well :) kind of... **

**and you guys, even though it's been so long... please comment and give reviews in that good way only you can! (L) you can either tell me what you think should happen, tell me what you think of Tsuki, or maybe the girl in his class ;), tell me that I suck or just that you like my story :D you pick, I answer! :D **

**hope I'll hear from you!  
**


	8. lost without you

**LOOK HERE! before reading that is :D and your worries and confusion will be solved :D**

**Hey guys :) you know me... I feel guilty, once again so... I am posting again :O omg XD like one day after last time**

**well, this chapter is one of those extra chapters and even though it belongs to the original storyline, it doesn't fit time-wise :) last chapter ended when Tsuki was starting school and he was about eight years old and everything.. well ****this takes place during chapter 2****, which was when Tsuki was bout three years old. Lats time I did this, during "lost in your smile" it didn't really work out for some of you guys. I did write in this little text that it took place before the actual storyline and everything but not everyone reads this so... heh **

**I'll say this again. When this extra chapter takes place, Tsuki is about three years old, and what happens hear happens at the same time as chapter 2, "my memories" **

**everything clear? :D **

**(and as you guys might have figured, all chapters about this emo guy will be named something with "lost" so that there will be no complications)  
**

**NOW :D if you still have questions, just ask :D **

**warning:**** OH THIS IS LEMON ALLRIGHT :D which means you will get juice... almost ;) and there is a boy... fondling with another boy's... private... aria :( man that was embarrassing to saaaay ;_; **

**Disclaimer: yeah... I don't own any of these characters ;_; because I am not Japanese and even if I can actually draw... (according to others) I couldn't have invented the fabulous story of Naruto... since I am only 19 XD**

**enjoy :D  
**

* * *

He felt his pulse quickening, the sound of his own heartbeat making him tremble as he gripped the soft sheets underneath his back. His head was pushed down into the pillows while moans dripping with pleasure left his throbbing lips and aching mouth. He needed to taste those red lips again, feel the soft skin brushing against his own, smell of him so close he could hear him breath.

He shuddered and pulled at the strands of blond hair that gently tickled his chest as he moved. Even though he had not planned on letting out any moans, he did, and the blond man stopped for a slight second, looking up at him with his sky-blue eyes, grinning.

"I haven't even touched you yet..." he said, gently breathing against the aching limb between his fragile fingers. "...you're already coming?"

"Shut up.." he almost groaned back and let his knee hit the blond one's body so that he continued with what he was supposed to do. He didn't want to hear him speak, not hear him talk in that voice, that would ruin it all. "..just blow me..."

The blond nodded and let his tongue gently sink down to caress the pounding surface, licking hungrily at the warm skin, giving him chills of pleasure that quickly made their way down his arched back. He could feel the blond one breathing heavily before warmth covered the tip of his already weeping cock, bringing him to the very break of madness and he closed his eyes...

"Sasuke..?"

He sighed and opened his eyes as the door opened and a woman stepped inside. She was dressed in a kimono, made of a burning-red fabric and her dark hair strapped into a bun on her head. Sasuke looked at her and sighed while shaking his head.

"What now..?" he asked, even though the man 'downstairs" did not stop what he was doing.

The woman seemed a bit disturbed but didn't comment what she saw, instead she just met his eyes and spoke. "It's time... the car is here"

Sasuke nodded and the woman left as quickly as she ad gotten there. He looked down at the half moaning ma who was still working him and he felt disgusted. "You're not good enough..." he grunted and pushed the man away. Within a minute he was dressed in his black suit and was fixing his hair by the mirror, the man still watching him from the bed.

"So..." the blond said, still grinning. "What should I do to get better..?"

"You can't do anything..." Sasuke sighed and opened the door to leave the room. "...You're not him."

The cold air hit him straight in the face as he made his way out the doors and into the car that had pulled up right outside the entrance. He pulled his dark coat tighter around himself as he sat down inside and nodded in greeting toward the man now sitting next to him.

"You don't look like the man who just lost his wife..." the man said, without even looking at Sasuke, not taking any notice of the honoring nod.

"You don't look like the man who just lost his only daughter... sir" Sasuke replied, looking out the window.

"I guess we are alike after all..."

Sasuke had never been in prison, nor had he been behind other bars, but as the funeral was over, people had taken their farewells and Sauske had gotten a package handed to him from his father in law, he imagined the feelings he felt was somewhat the feelings of getting let out of prison. As soon as he got into the car to ride back to his house, he opened the brown box and started pulling things out of it... his things, his passed... one thing after another, just as they had been back then. His notebook with numbers to old contacts he had not spoken to in years, his old glasses, his sweaters with the red and white print on it, his cellphone...

He sighed with a slight smile on his lips, stroking the deep blue colour and the slightly scratched surface of the screen. The battery was dead though, no shit, and he bit his lip hard before letting it fall into his pocket, where it used to have always been resting.

As the car pulled up to the house, Sasuke was out in an instant and before even taking his shoes of, he went to load the battery for his phone with the charger that had also been in the box. After that he took a shower, knowing that the phone would not be usable until in about half an hour, maybe more...

He took something to eat, but the food didn't satisfy, he couldn't even swallow it without drinking something to it and he didn't have the energy to fix that, so he just let the food rest all lonely on the table. Before the half hour had passed he had; packed his things, put markings on boxes, cleaned of in the kitchen and then tried to get the cell working for the remaining time... And as soon as it got going... well, let's just say, there were so many messages that he didn't even have time to delete all of them before there were a hundred more in his inbox...

He tried to read some of them though, but as he did, his vision got blurry, to blurry for him to even see the words on the small screen and when he finally let the phone fall to the floor, it kept buzzing with new messages for so long he thought he would go crazy...

"I'm so sorry..." he half whispered and closed his eyes hard against his knees. The phone had stopped and it was now silent in the large house. He looked up again, glancing towards the small piece of plastic and metal, picking it up after hesitating for a while. There were so manny text messages, so manny memories all forgotten with time... He checked them still, one by one, no matter if it hurt or not. Apparently he didn't have any money to call anyone, which was typical but not strange. Almost all of them were from over a year ago but... not to last one. It had been sent just hours ago.. if the clock on his cell wasn't too messed up that was.

"_Sasuke, you told me to call you, even in the middle of the night if I ever felt like I was dying... but I guess I can't do that any more... right..?"_

Before he even had the time to react to it, the door was opened and even though Sasuke never showed his emotions to anyone, he could not hide the fact that there were tears in his eyes as Jugo stepped into the room.

"Sasuke, you ready to go?" he asked and looked around for his friend but was dumbstruck as he saw Sauske getting up slowly from the floor. "Oh shit..." he half cursed and rushed over to him, almost as if wanting to hug him or was afraid that Sasuke would fall over. "No good messages, right?"

Sasuke could do nothing but nod and look down at his phone before giving it to the strong man in front of him, he gave the message a look and then looked back at Sauske with his usual calmness.

"You want me to take you there?" he asked and Sasuke felt his stomach hurt by the thought, but he nodded and met Jugo's eyes, as if asking without words if he really could do that. "It'll take hours and we'll be there awfully late.." the redhead added but smiled. "...but since you'll die if I don't, I might as well take you, right?"

"I guess..."

"You know where he lives..?"

Sasuke half laughed and went to pull his shoes on before answering. "It's not like I can't look that up, right?"

"What about the kid..?" his friend asked and Sasuke had to think for a moment, because the image of those small fingers and that tiny laugh made his eyes fog up again. But he had not even told Jugo about his son, that was not the child his friend had meant.

"It's okay..." he answered and pulled his coat on before looking back over his shoulder. "I will probably not get custody any way so... we can go"

"Okay... let's go then, before it gets completely dark"

"Yeah..."

* * *

**oh... **

**So how are you guys feeling after this small extra chapter? Hating Sasuke? Loving Sasuke? Wondering what the hell Sasuke has been doing? : **

**Well, I know most of you are smart, but I just want to clear this mess up a bit! **

**Do you remember in chapter two when Naruto texted Sasuke? And then Sasuke showed up all of a sudden during the night? Well... this was the little story about what happened on Sasuke's side, why he just showed after three years, why he hadn't gotten in touch and such... you get it? :D **

**Please review and tell me what you think :) I'll try to post a more... understandable chapter next time ;) **

**bye  
**


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